Tag: Society

The thing that brings tears to my eyes.

One might describe me as a reluctant introvert. Outwardly, I usually seem very quiet, but this appearance belies my true nature. Over the years, I have learned to spend a lot of time alone, but I am not a true introvert. Under most social conditions, I can’t completely assume the characteristics of an extrovert, but I’m sure it would be very enjoyable if I could.

One of the main reasons I can’t be extroverted in every social situation is because I am unable or unwilling to overcome the extreme extroverts. A person who is overtly extroverted is highly competitive about getting and sustaining everyone’s attention. They won’t let anyone outdo them for long. It makes them uneasy. They might start looking for a different group if everyone tunes them out, one that listens to them and strokes their ego.

Have you ever been to a gathering and some guy says, why are you so quiet? Cat got your tongue? Don’t trust the quiet ones! If you have, you’ve met one of these competitive extroverts. They have to make the potential competition look weird or unworthy of hearing so they can keep the floor the whole time. They mostly do it subconsciously of course. They just can’t allow anyone to be heard above them. They’ve got to be the life of the party. Some people love this type of person, but many others, including myself, find them annoying and arrogant. Let someone else talk for a change!

I’m not pushy with my extroversion, but I know it’s still there. I want to be a person that people listen to sometimes, but I’ll take turns listening, and I mean really listening, not just thinking of my next funny reply. That’s another characteristic of the competitive extrovert. They never really hear anything you say because they only care about what they have to say. Their own ideas trump everyone else in the room.

I was then left all alone. I didn’t want to be alone again! I remember just sitting there by the porch, trying to play by myself, with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I experienced the need to be around people at an early age. One time when I was very young, several of my cousins came over to my house to play. We spent many hours playing, as kids often do. I don’t remember exactly what we did, probably involved lots of running around, or maybe playing a game, or we could have just played with cars or action figures under the big shade trees. The thing I do remember is when they all went home that evening. I was then left all alone. I didn’t want to be alone again! I remember just sitting there by the porch, trying to play by myself, with tears rolling down my cheeks. The emotional pain was overwhelming! I had found the thing that brings tears to my eyes, it’s simply the act of saying goodbye.

If I’m not an extrovert, and I’m not an introvert, then what am I? I believe the best way to describe my personality type would be to say that I’m an omnivert. I can sit quietly for long hours in contemplation and also do things that require incredible levels of concentration, like writing and programming computers for instance, but if I’m around people I like, I will become something totally different indeed.

I remember there was a girl I used to know, and once she started hanging out with me, she said something kind of funny. She said, wow, you’re a talker! She was very surprised to learn that I could keep a conversation going for as long as she wanted, maybe even longer. I think my extroverted side comes as quite a shock to someone after I know them enough to let it loose.

You may recall from another post, that I have difficulty concentrating around certain kinds of noise, so much so that I often opt for hearing protectors to block out sounds. It so happens that the main sounds that distract me are human voices. My extroverted side wants to know what they are talking about and join into the conversation. This is yet another example of my affinity toward the people I find interesting.

More info about omniverts can be found here: What Is an Omnivert? – Meaning And Traits.

Possible discussion ideas.

  1. How would you describe yourself (extrovert, introvert, ambivert, omnivert)?
  2. Do you know any competitive extroverts?
  3. Do you get annoyed when someone hogs all the attention?
  4. Ever feel really sad when company goes home?
  5. Do you know someone who never listens?
  6. Know any talkers who are quite most of the time?

Top 10 list of human motivators.

There are many things that can motivate a person. Below is a list of some of the most important human motivators.

  1. Living. When people are alive, they tend to want to stay that way. The will to live is a fundamental motivator. There may be a time when extreme suffering eliminates this motivation, leading to extreme depression and sometimes death. If you lose this one, the other motivators might not have much of an affect.
  2. Survival. Everyone alive needs to survive. This is a base need. Some people have more difficulty with it than others. It might be because of health issues, food shortages, extreme poverty, homelessness, etc. If you still have a will to live, you will be motivated to survive.
  3. Liked. People want to be liked by others. They will often go to great lengths to be liked. Sometimes it is because they want to be accepted by their peers, be one with the group, or in some cases, just have mass appeal and popularity. The like button is popular for a reason. People are motivated to be liked, and it improves their chances for survival.
  4. Love. Some people are engaged in the pursuit of finding true love. This is a pretty big motivator for me personally, I must admit. It’s very elusive. It also requires a mutual feeling, which makes it even more challenging. Even when you have it, you question, are they in it for the same reasons? Will it last for both of you? It can be very fragile.
  5. Sex. It is often associated with love, but is definitely a different thing. It’s also closely related to lust and beauty. It can become an obsession and lead to addiction, constantly pursuing the next conquest, living only for sensual pleasures. It’s definitely a huge motivator for human beings.
  6. Materialism. I’m not a very materialistic person, but a lot of people are highly motivated to buy material things. They are like a maximalist I guess. Their garages become brimming over with junk at some point, then it’s off to the landfill, but it keeps the economy going I guess.
  7. Wealth. Not everyone wants to collect tons of material objects. Some people want to collect money, and lots of it. When they get there hands on it, they invest it to make even more money. It might eventually become even more money than they can spend. It can greatly aid survival, and is definitely a huge motivator.
  8. Power. Wealth can lead to power, and money might actually be a storage system for power, because if you have enough money, you can get people to do things for you. Power is the ability to control those around you, and society at large. It is definitely a big motivator, especially for the control freaks.
  9. Perfection. Making really bad mistakes can reduce your chances of survival. Most people try to act wisely and make good decisions. This can be perfection in daily tasks, or even extend into the realm of morality. Perfection can never be had, of course, but perfectionists are highly motivated by it.
  10. Meaning. Sooner or later, someone will ask the question why. Why am I here? What is the purpose of all this? For some reason, people get tired of doing the same old thing forever if there is no greater meaning to it all. Having a sense of purpose is a great motivating factor, and can come from various sources, like family, religion, afterlife, humanitarianism, spiritual attainment, etc.

Possible discussion ideas.

  1. Do you think this list is accurate?
  2. Would you add something to this list?
  3. Which are your biggest motivators?
  4. Do you think your motivations change?
  5. Are any of them irritating to you?
  6. What is the meaning of life?

Can’t wait to hear what you have to say! Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!

A word that too many people use.

On a few occasions, I have considered writing about a word that too many people use. The word that comes to mind is the word stupid. Growing up, I heard this word all the time. I believe everyone has used the word before. Some people use it all day long. Sometimes people ignore it, sometimes people get mad, sometimes they admit it, and sometimes they call themselves stupid, but it is a word that I believe no one should use at all. This also applies to other words with a similar meaning that are equally misused, like dumb, ignorant, retarded, idiotic, foolish, moron, imbecile, etc.

The reason why I think no one should use it is because the definition people have of it has nothing to do with what the word really means. If you look these words up in the dictionary they will likely lead you to believe that they are referring to a slow person, or someone of low intelligence. That has nothing to do with it. People with high or normal IQ probably get called stupid as much as people with a low IQ. In fact, people would feel guilty about calling someone dumb if they actually did have a learning disability.

So what does the word stupid really mean? Stupid is a word that is used to manipulate or bully people into conformity. If you disagree with something that someone did, or you don’t like the way they are living, you call them names. The idea is that they will change their behavior of you call them stupid. Very often though, people don’t call you stupid to your face because they don’t want you to realize they are your enemy. They say it to other people with the hopes of destroying you reputation to the point that no one will believe anything you say, or maybe even shun your company. It’s the same objective that all bullies have, without the violence.

I know everyone is unique and they have views that I may not agree with, but it’s not my job, or even my right, to tell them how to live. It’s also not right for me to say words that might destroy them just to build the kind of society that I feel comfortable living in. It took me many years to fully understand this truth. They were give something very special by their creator. They were given their own life to live and a mind to direct them. Likewise, I was given mine, and I would appreciate the same courtesy.

Possible discussion ideas.

  1. Did you ever consider the real meaning of these words?
  2. How does it make you feel being called names?
  3. Were you ever bullied through the use of words?
  4. Ever have people slander you behind your back?
  5. Is it hard to resist the urge to call someone stupid?
  6. Do you believe people should be allowed to be themselves?
  7. Do you think everyone should conform?
  8. What words that denote promiscuity, are they spoken

Let me know what you think in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!

The traditions that have been lost.

I lost a few traditions that my parents had, mainly due to shrinking family size. For one, there was a lot more to do on the holidays. Every year, the holidays have become more like any other day. When I was young, there was also a lot more meal preparation time. The table was set every night for dinner because there was a lot of people to feed. There’s just not enough people to warrant these traditions for me, and they also consume more time.

What traditions have you lost? Do you think traditions as a whole have changed dramatically over the years. Do you think family sizes are shrinking? Let me know below, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!

Just skimming the surface.

I read a lot. I always have, but I’ve seen a shift in my reading habits these past few years. I still squeeze in some time to read whole books, but it feels like I spend the bulk of my reading time browsing then Internet and skimming content, rather than taking in a complete work. It feels a lot like I’m going from plate to plate, consuming only a thin slice, like the judge in a state fair pie eating contest.

I’m scrolling through social media, and something catches my eye, so I browse over there and read a bit, but usually not all of it. Maybe my attention span has shortened with age, or maybe I absorbed the gist and am ready to move on, or maybe there’s just more competition for my attention elsewhere, or maybe they truly lost me. Jumping back out of the rabbit hole, I’m browsing the next one, ready to jump in, but never too deep. It’s a shallow existence I know, and I feel like it grows on you after a while.

I remember it wasn’t always like this. There was a time when I was very thorough and deep. I didn’t just want the cliff notes on everything. I assumed every word in the book was somehow important. I could see the high level, but I also hung on every word, how it sounded, how it was arranged, how it made me feel. If I misread or skipped just one phrase, the whole work wouldn’t make sense. I’d have to reread it all again.

I remember years ago when I would get a new watch, or clock, or VCR, or microwave, or any other odd device, I would read the little instruction book all the way through. I assumed that if I missed even a single page, I’d be totally lost as to how this thing worked, or I’d miss out on a special feature, or maybe it just wouldn’t work at all, or even become dangerous. Read the instructions first! That was my mantra.

I also remember my first computer came with an full user’s manual. The manual actually taught you how to program it. I read that book cover to cover and did every example. That’s actually how I became a computer programmer. Now days, you get a few pages of warranty info and maybe a quick start guide for someone who has never powered on a device.

I guess they just assume its cultural knowledge now. If you buy an electronic device, you must already know how to do everything with it, or maybe it’s just too complicated to tell people everything it can do, or technical writing became too expensive, or maybe they expect Google and YouTube will give you all the instructions you will ever need, provided you know how to get there.

Even on the search engines, I am just grazing though, grabbing just enough information to do what I want at the moment, never going too deep, never filling my brain to the expert level. Maybe it will come with time, as I sample enough of a particular subject, but for right now I just need to know how to make Excel do a pivot table.

I’ll figure the rest out when I have time, and deep down I know I will never have enough hours in my life, and I’ve become accepting of that. I’ve become comfortable with just being a pebble skipping over the surface, never diving in too deep, never being slowed down, just bouncing along on the surface making ripples, until I reach my final destination, and sink below the waves, never to be seen again.

I know I’m also not the only pebble in this pool. I see other people doing it every day. Some who read even less than I did in the past, who have never even peeked under the waves for one moment. A whole generation of people just browsing, and skimming, and skipping, and constantly refocusing, always a little behind and never taking a full deep breath.

Maybe it’s a good thing to stay shallow. There’s just too much content these days to take it all in, but I still sometimes wonder, what sort of society will this behavior create?

Does anything in this article resonate with you? What do you think the future holds for a society with a shortened attention span? Do you think there will ever be too much content on the Internet? Do you think this trend will have psychological effects on people? Let me know in the comments, and please, like, share, and subscribe!

What I would change about modern society.

First, I think we would have to define what modern society is. There are actually a wide variety of societies all over this world, all of them existing in modern times, but would we classify all of them as modern? Also, are all societies imbibed with the same modern ideas?

I believe many societies today actually lack the necessary infrastructure to be classified as modern. Some of them barely have access to clean water and good roads. If we assume modern society has advanced technology, we are leaving out a few of these societies. They are still on the sidelines observing, and slowly working to catch up. I do think strides are being made every day, but there is still work to be done.

I also believe that when we talk about changing society, we are talking about changing how people think and function. Many societies, even in modern times, differ greatly in their beliefs, goals, perspectives, and practices. Certain attributes or practices of a particular society might be considered very primitive by another society for instance, yet we are all living in the modern era.

For these reasons, modern society can only be understood in a relatively localized fashion, as in your particular society, or in a very broad way that not all modern societies fall under. That being said, I feel like what we are really talking about is the generalized philosophy and practices of highly developed nations.

What I wouldn’t change

I would like to start with the things I would not change, because I believe these to be the foundation of not only modern society, but also necessary to live a good life as a human.

Individual Freedom

I believe modern society has greatly improved our individual freedom. I think every person should have the right to carry out their lives however they see fit. Many people want to be in other people’s business. They are annoyed by everything their neighbor does. If you aren’t careful, these people will pass ridiculous rules and laws to get rid of all their pet peeves and annoyances. This should not be allowed. Society should mainly focus on preventing violent criminal behavior. Basically, the perfect society is one where everyone has the freedom to be themselves and pursue happiness in their own way.

High Inclusivity

I believe modern society strives to be highly inclusive. Everyone is different. We have different appearances, backgrounds, cultures, beliefs, religions, histories, habits, ideas, etc. If we guarantee individual freedom, we will have to have some way of dealing with all our differences. This means society needs to continually focus on tolerance and acceptance.

I think this is an attribute of modern society, because if you look back at history, we didn’t do this very well. We held onto our differences and made war with everyone who wasn’t like us. Unfortunately, I believe that even in modern times, acceptance is still in a relatively primitive state, and needs to improve dramatically. It also seems fragile, like it could fracture at any time and cause us to revert back to our primitive ways.

Business Ownership

I believe modern society is dependent on its members being able to buy and sell in a relatively unrestricted manner, with minimal taxation. The ability to conduct business is also a part of someone’s individual freedom. If you place extreme regulations on this, you will decrease the ability of a person to profit from his labor and efforts. This will dramatically increase poverty and lead to an oppressive society. Modern society is dependent on businesses, especially small businesses and entrepreneurship, and this should not be changed. If I changed anything, I would reduce current regulations and taxation, because I see it as a violation of a person’s individual freedom.

What I would change

I wasn’t always like this, but I have actually come to appreciate modern society in a lot of ways. I wouldn’t say I love it, but I think it has been heading in roughly the right direction and made remarkable progress. It is my hope that modern society will remain stable and individual rights and freedom will continue to improve across the globe. That being said, I might change a few things.

Violent Crime

There is a lot more violent crime than I care to see. I don’t have an answer for this at the human nature level. Many people just have violent tendencies and anger issues, but often it’s a one-off based on difficult circumstances. The trick is to head them off at the pass before they do something everyone regrets. Perhaps modern society will use AI to create predictive models for preventive purposes.

I hate to say this, but it is looking like increased surveillance is a part of modern society. It feels really creepy, but one thing it has going for it is it should decrease crime. Literally, all crime will be observed as it happens, and law enforcement and emergency services can be routed immediately. Video evidence will also be available to ensure proper prosecution of the criminal. Hacking and deep fakes could interfere with the effectiveness of surveillance though.

Social Manipulation

There is a huge amount of social manipulation going on though the news and social media outlets. Organizations and governments are trying to prevent this, but unfortunately, they often combat it by inserting their own agenda and propaganda. I believe this is really one of the biggest concerns for modern society, because it has the ability to escalate people to the boiling point and create violence, rioting, and civil war. Some people have a tendency to believe the sky is falling already, and they don’t need any help.

I wish the negativity and manipulation would go away, but I’m not really sure how to fix it at this point. Perhaps AI could stop corrupting stories from emerging, but that could lead to extreme censorship. Who gets to decide what you receive as news? Whatever you come up with could potentially be used by bad actors to create an even worse condition. I shudder to think of what harm it is going to do to modern society.

What are your thoughts on my list? What would you change? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share! Oh, and if you made it this far, thanks for reading!

The thing that bothers me.

Favoritism bothers me. It probably doesn’t bother a lot of people. It’s not really known as an ugly word like all the other isms, but isn’t it really the root of all of them? Why do we only considerer it bad when it pertains to things like race, gender, religion, or nationality? Aren’t all biases against people actually bad? Have they just not gotten around to protecting all the other potential attributes that could prevent one from getting hired or accepted into society? How bad does the bias have to get before we turn it into a protected class?

I also don’t think this is only a problem for a select minority. I don’t think there is a single person on this planet who is unaffected by prejudice. Even if you managed to be born into the majority, there is going to be something that sets you apart and causes someone to have a bias against you. If nothing else, wait a few years and discover that ageism is one of the most prevalent biases.

I think the problem is we actually like favoritism. We like the idea of choosing which flavor of ice cream is best, which brand of clothes are the most stylish, which restaurant is worthy of a five star rating on Yelp, etc. We objectify practically everything, then proceed to critique it, rate it, elevate it, or downgrade it. I’m sure that’s the real reason the like button became so popular. We have discerning tastes, and we love to upvote and downvote everything. Of course, objects can’t complain and probably don’t have feelings, but people do.

I don’t have an answer to this problem. Probably no one does. We will continue to favorite things and objectify people. It’s just what humans do, but it does bother me.

What are your thoughts? Ever experienced a bias? How does it make you feel to be excluded? Will we get to the point where everyone is accepted? Let me know in the comments and don’t forget to like, subscribe, follow, and share!

The subjects I know best.

I do not consider myself an authority on any subject, but honestly, I wouldn’t blindly accept anyone else’s authority on any subject either. I will always think for myself and make up my own mind. That’s the only reason I can think of that we would have been given individual minds, so we can use them. There are quite a few subjects I know about though. Growing up, I was a very curious person and had a broad range of intellectual pursuits.

I’m also fairly well educated. I graduated summa cum laude with two bachelor’s degrees (double major), one in information systems, and the other in business administration, and I went on to complete a master’s degree in business. This means I’m quite knowledgeable of business, computer science, and information systems.

I also used to read a lot, sometimes over a hundred books a year, and they were mostly non-fiction and classics, so they were knowledge dense. Some of my favorite subjects are philosophy, psychology, business, personal finance, programming, internet, social media, marketing, blogging, spirituality, relationships, lifestyle, and society.

After all this learning, education, observation, experience and contemplation are done, I still feel like the fundamental questions in life have been left unanswered and no one is an authority on them. Going forward, the things I would like to become an authority on are having fun, being happy, making friends, enjoying company, staying healthy, talking much, staying relaxed, and enjoying a cold one. Cheers!

What are you an authority on? Do you think we spend a lot of time gaining our authority? Is it all worth it? Share your thoughts in the comments, and don’t forget to like and subscribe!

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A future that worries me.

There are many concerns that I think we should be worried about. It would be hard to say what I most worry about for future generations. Below are the ones that I think might be at the top of the list.

You might notice that technology plays a part in many of them. I think technology is one of those things that always poses an extreme danger to humanity, but no one can stop its progress. That is probably because we are living in a highly competitive world, and technology grants tremendous power.

  • Technological advancements will outpace humanity. I think we are reaching the point where most of the population struggles to understand its own technology. Do people even understand all the technology that goes into their cell phone?
  • Most of the human population will become obsolete. Some people predict that rapidly advancing technology will eventually displace almost all human workers, leaving them to starve without a source of income for survival.
  • There will be a population implosion. There is some concern that family sizes have been shrinking over the past few years. I also hear that breeding in general is at an all time low for the younger generation. This could be very dangerous if it continues.
  • There will be a pollution and garbage overload. The Earth is a big place and it does a good job of cleaning up waste, but I feel like if we continue to generate massive amounts of plastic waste we will eventually overload it’s capacity.
  • People will become too self-centered. I feel like there’s a danger that people will become so self absorbed that they will become very bad at taking care of people who need it, like children and the elderly. The world could become a very cold place.
  • Nefarious people will gain influence and power. The world always has some bad actors who are up to no good. They may gain enough influence and power to stage some heinous crimes against humanity. It’s happened many times before in history.
  • The world will become completely capitalistic. Currently, human labor is king, but if robots and AI do all the work in the future, the ones who own those machines will be able to capture all the world’s wealth and income and exclude everyone else.
  • Social manipulation will trigger catastrophes. Social media and news outlets have shown tremendous power in manipulating the masses. Terrible things could be instigated by virally spreading the wrong message.
  • Extreme natural disasters will cause huge fatalities. It is very conceivable that a major natural disaster is looming on the horizon. If a large enough asteroid collided with the Earth, it could literally extinguish all human life on the planet.
  • Tampering with DNA will cause major harm. We have the ability to genetically engineer animals, plants, and diseases. Super diseases could be created, or the introduction of new species could wipe out old ones, including the human species.
  • We will never evolve past our biases and prejudices. Humanity is plagued by a lot of isms, like racism, sexism, ageism, etc. I believe our future is very bleak if we never learn to put aside our differences, let go of all our biases, and treat each other as equals and friends.

Do you agree or disagree? Do any of these really stand out as a major concern for you? Have any other worries you would add to the list? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like and subscribe!