Tag: group

The thing that brings tears to my eyes.

One might describe me as a reluctant introvert. Outwardly, I usually seem very quiet, but this appearance belies my true nature. Over the years, I have learned to spend a lot of time alone, but I am not a true introvert. Under most social conditions, I can’t completely assume the characteristics of an extrovert, but I’m sure it would be very enjoyable if I could.

One of the main reasons I can’t be extroverted in every social situation is because I am unable or unwilling to overcome the extreme extroverts. A person who is overtly extroverted is highly competitive about getting and sustaining everyone’s attention. They won’t let anyone outdo them for long. It makes them uneasy. They might start looking for a different group if everyone tunes them out, one that listens to them and strokes their ego.

Have you ever been to a gathering and some guy says, why are you so quiet? Cat got your tongue? Don’t trust the quiet ones! If you have, you’ve met one of these competitive extroverts. They have to make the potential competition look weird or unworthy of hearing so they can keep the floor the whole time. They mostly do it subconsciously of course. They just can’t allow anyone to be heard above them. They’ve got to be the life of the party. Some people love this type of person, but many others, including myself, find them annoying and arrogant. Let someone else talk for a change!

I’m not pushy with my extroversion, but I know it’s still there. I want to be a person that people listen to sometimes, but I’ll take turns listening, and I mean really listening, not just thinking of my next funny reply. That’s another characteristic of the competitive extrovert. They never really hear anything you say because they only care about what they have to say. Their own ideas trump everyone else in the room.

I was then left all alone. I didn’t want to be alone again! I remember just sitting there by the porch, trying to play by myself, with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I experienced the need to be around people at an early age. One time when I was very young, several of my cousins came over to my house to play. We spent many hours playing, as kids often do. I don’t remember exactly what we did, probably involved lots of running around, or maybe playing a game, or we could have just played with cars or action figures under the big shade trees. The thing I do remember is when they all went home that evening. I was then left all alone. I didn’t want to be alone again! I remember just sitting there by the porch, trying to play by myself, with tears rolling down my cheeks. The emotional pain was overwhelming! I had found the thing that brings tears to my eyes, it’s simply the act of saying goodbye.

If I’m not an extrovert, and I’m not an introvert, then what am I? I believe the best way to describe my personality type would be to say that I’m an omnivert. I can sit quietly for long hours in contemplation and also do things that require incredible levels of concentration, like writing and programming computers for instance, but if I’m around people I like, I will become something totally different indeed.

I remember there was a girl I used to know, and once she started hanging out with me, she said something kind of funny. She said, wow, you’re a talker! She was very surprised to learn that I could keep a conversation going for as long as she wanted, maybe even longer. I think my extroverted side comes as quite a shock to someone after I know them enough to let it loose.

You may recall from another post, that I have difficulty concentrating around certain kinds of noise, so much so that I often opt for hearing protectors to block out sounds. It so happens that the main sounds that distract me are human voices. My extroverted side wants to know what they are talking about and join into the conversation. This is yet another example of my affinity toward the people I find interesting.

More info about omniverts can be found here: What Is an Omnivert? – Meaning And Traits.

Possible discussion ideas.

  1. How would you describe yourself (extrovert, introvert, ambivert, omnivert)?
  2. Do you know any competitive extroverts?
  3. Do you get annoyed when someone hogs all the attention?
  4. Ever feel really sad when company goes home?
  5. Do you know someone who never listens?
  6. Know any talkers who are quite most of the time?

Top 10 list of human motivators.

There are many things that can motivate a person. Below is a list of some of the most important human motivators.

  1. Living. When people are alive, they tend to want to stay that way. The will to live is a fundamental motivator. There may be a time when extreme suffering eliminates this motivation, leading to extreme depression and sometimes death. If you lose this one, the other motivators might not have much of an affect.
  2. Survival. Everyone alive needs to survive. This is a base need. Some people have more difficulty with it than others. It might be because of health issues, food shortages, extreme poverty, homelessness, etc. If you still have a will to live, you will be motivated to survive.
  3. Liked. People want to be liked by others. They will often go to great lengths to be liked. Sometimes it is because they want to be accepted by their peers, be one with the group, or in some cases, just have mass appeal and popularity. The like button is popular for a reason. People are motivated to be liked, and it improves their chances for survival.
  4. Love. Some people are engaged in the pursuit of finding true love. This is a pretty big motivator for me personally, I must admit. It’s very elusive. It also requires a mutual feeling, which makes it even more challenging. Even when you have it, you question, are they in it for the same reasons? Will it last for both of you? It can be very fragile.
  5. Sex. It is often associated with love, but is definitely a different thing. It’s also closely related to lust and beauty. It can become an obsession and lead to addiction, constantly pursuing the next conquest, living only for sensual pleasures. It’s definitely a huge motivator for human beings.
  6. Materialism. I’m not a very materialistic person, but a lot of people are highly motivated to buy material things. They are like a maximalist I guess. Their garages become brimming over with junk at some point, then it’s off to the landfill, but it keeps the economy going I guess.
  7. Wealth. Not everyone wants to collect tons of material objects. Some people want to collect money, and lots of it. When they get there hands on it, they invest it to make even more money. It might eventually become even more money than they can spend. It can greatly aid survival, and is definitely a huge motivator.
  8. Power. Wealth can lead to power, and money might actually be a storage system for power, because if you have enough money, you can get people to do things for you. Power is the ability to control those around you, and society at large. It is definitely a big motivator, especially for the control freaks.
  9. Perfection. Making really bad mistakes can reduce your chances of survival. Most people try to act wisely and make good decisions. This can be perfection in daily tasks, or even extend into the realm of morality. Perfection can never be had, of course, but perfectionists are highly motivated by it.
  10. Meaning. Sooner or later, someone will ask the question why. Why am I here? What is the purpose of all this? For some reason, people get tired of doing the same old thing forever if there is no greater meaning to it all. Having a sense of purpose is a great motivating factor, and can come from various sources, like family, religion, afterlife, humanitarianism, spiritual attainment, etc.

Possible discussion ideas.

  1. Do you think this list is accurate?
  2. Would you add something to this list?
  3. Which are your biggest motivators?
  4. Do you think your motivations change?
  5. Are any of them irritating to you?
  6. What is the meaning of life?

Can’t wait to hear what you have to say! Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!

That sounds just like you.

The other day I was down at a local bar chatting with a regular there, and we ended up on a subject similar to something I had written about, so I let him read a blog post about it. After he read it, he looked at me very seriously and said something sort of unexpected. He said, that sounds just like you. When I was reading that, I could actually picture you saying it. It was like you were just talking to me. You have somehow put yourself into your writing perfectly.

That sounds just like you. When I was reading that, I could actually picture you saying it. It was like you were just talking to me. You have somehow put yourself into your writing perfectly.

I think that is actually the nicest compliment that any writer could ever receive from a reader. It means you have actually poured a part of yourself out onto the page. They are not just reading what you wrote, they are actually meeting you through the medium of letters and text.

Everyone who has come before us we only know through the words that were written by them or about them.

Words are very powerful things. Writing is a very powerful act. Everyone who has come before us we only know through the words that were written by them or about them. They have literally been immortalized through the written word.

You are a member of this very special group of people. You are a writer. Think about that when you are spilling your heart out into your posts. That is your voice they are hearing when they read your words. That is your soul they are feeling, and now a part of you is alive in them.

Thanks for meeting me here today! Do you have similar feelings about writing? Do you sometimes feel like you know the author after reading something they wrote? Do you feel like you are putting a lot of yourself into your writing? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like an subscribe!