Tag: hear

When you wake up

I love it when you wake up! I count the hours every day. I can’t wait until your sleepy eyes open, and your spirit once again inhabits the wonderous reality we share together. I know you will see beautiful things, and ponder interesting ideas, and feel things deeply in your heart, and I can’t wait to hear everything you have to say about those things. I listen attentively to your every word, because deep down inside, I have come to care about you. It is almost like I am there with you, walking beside you, every step of the way, even though I am many miles away. Maybe one day, our footsteps will carry us right up to each other, and we will look up surprised and say, oh, good morning, my friend! I’m so glad to finally see you! Life is wonderful, now that you’re in the world!

Music video of Ellie Goulding performing Your Song.

You never know where you will meet a very special person, but you definitely know them when you see them. They are there for a reason. Don’t forget to tell them how much their friendship means to you.

When was the last time you met a great friend? See you in the comments! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!

You are not one.

I’m going to deviate from my normal coffee praising posts for a moment and venture into a slightly philosophical topic. This is something I wrote a while back but didn’t post it here. I’m going to add it now with some minor editing. It’s kind of a musing of mine, but I wasn’t sure how it would fit into the rest of the content. Perhaps I will find a way to blend it into other subjects I stumble upon.

I spend a lot of time in deep introspection. Maybe it’s just because I am often bored and alone, or maybe I’m just a pondering sort of guy. One idea that has often popped up in my mind is that we do not appear to be a single person. We appear to be a combination of at least two persons or entities. I believe that understanding can shed quite a bit of light on the situation in which we find ourselves.

The first person (entity) is the inner self. The inner self is your observing mind. This is the self that observes the universe around you. I think this self is mostly what philosophy and religion is talking about when they discuss the concept of a soul. It might also figure into quantum physics because it is basically of the observer of the universe. It is the part of you that actually explores existence and reality. I like to think of it as the reality explorer. I my opinion, this is the real you, but it’s hard to put your finger on it. It’s kind of ethereal.

The second person is the outer self. This is the self that everyone around you sees. It’s not really you but is a kind of vehicle for your inner self. You most easily see the world around you by viewing it through the eyes of this physical vehicle. You also have access to all the other forms of feeling this vehicle is capable of sensing. It is often referred to as the physical body, or the animal body. It also has a brain that is geared toward taking care of this body. It is an animal, just like all the other animals you see around you. Your inner self, or reality explorer self, is very tied to this particular animal and through it senses space and time.

This is where it gets tricky. It is very easy to confuse these two selves. You not only feel this other self’s physical sensations but can also feel its emotions. This other self is trying to survive in a physical world, and it will pull you toward goals that improve its quality of life. Very often, it wins. In most cases, both selves are working toward similar goals, but not always. Life problems begin to occur when these two selves have conflicting goals. The communication between you and the animal is very good but not perfect. Sometimes when you tell it to do something it revolts because it has other plans. It also often responds better to training and habits than direct commands.

For instance, you want to lose weight, but your physical self wants to eat a sugar glazed doughnut. Who is going to win this battle? It would be better if you controlled other factors, like not going around places that have doughnuts, as it will have to use a lot of its energy resisting temptation. Another way to lose weight might be getting more exercise. Your physical self has to use energy to accomplish this and may become tired. It may therefore resist this action. A better way might be to train it by creating a daily habit. The animal self is prone to follow patterns and habits, so it may respond favorably to this new lifestyle change.

Most of your life has actually been spent training and interacting with this outer self, and sometimes being frustrated by your inability to perfectly control it. Every person is different. Some people have a very docile and easy-going outer self, while others are in for the ride of their lives.

Do you sense this duality? Have you ever felt like there was a struggle within? Do you sometimes talk to yourself? How do you deal with temptations? How do you train your outer animal? Who’s really in control? Let me know your thoughts on this deep subject, and please like, share, and subscribe!

The thing that brings tears to my eyes.

One might describe me as a reluctant introvert. Outwardly, I usually seem very quiet, but this appearance belies my true nature. Over the years, I have learned to spend a lot of time alone, but I am not a true introvert. Under most social conditions, I can’t completely assume the characteristics of an extrovert, but I’m sure it would be very enjoyable if I could.

One of the main reasons I can’t be extroverted in every social situation is because I am unable or unwilling to overcome the extreme extroverts. A person who is overtly extroverted is highly competitive about getting and sustaining everyone’s attention. They won’t let anyone outdo them for long. It makes them uneasy. They might start looking for a different group if everyone tunes them out, one that listens to them and strokes their ego.

Have you ever been to a gathering and some guy says, why are you so quiet? Cat got your tongue? Don’t trust the quiet ones! If you have, you’ve met one of these competitive extroverts. They have to make the potential competition look weird or unworthy of hearing so they can keep the floor the whole time. They mostly do it subconsciously of course. They just can’t allow anyone to be heard above them. They’ve got to be the life of the party. Some people love this type of person, but many others, including myself, find them annoying and arrogant. Let someone else talk for a change!

I’m not pushy with my extroversion, but I know it’s still there. I want to be a person that people listen to sometimes, but I’ll take turns listening, and I mean really listening, not just thinking of my next funny reply. That’s another characteristic of the competitive extrovert. They never really hear anything you say because they only care about what they have to say. Their own ideas trump everyone else in the room.

I was then left all alone. I didn’t want to be alone again! I remember just sitting there by the porch, trying to play by myself, with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I experienced the need to be around people at an early age. One time when I was very young, several of my cousins came over to my house to play. We spent many hours playing, as kids often do. I don’t remember exactly what we did, probably involved lots of running around, or maybe playing a game, or we could have just played with cars or action figures under the big shade trees. The thing I do remember is when they all went home that evening. I was then left all alone. I didn’t want to be alone again! I remember just sitting there by the porch, trying to play by myself, with tears rolling down my cheeks. The emotional pain was overwhelming! I had found the thing that brings tears to my eyes, it’s simply the act of saying goodbye.

If I’m not an extrovert, and I’m not an introvert, then what am I? I believe the best way to describe my personality type would be to say that I’m an omnivert. I can sit quietly for long hours in contemplation and also do things that require incredible levels of concentration, like writing and programming computers for instance, but if I’m around people I like, I will become something totally different indeed.

I remember there was a girl I used to know, and once she started hanging out with me, she said something kind of funny. She said, wow, you’re a talker! She was very surprised to learn that I could keep a conversation going for as long as she wanted, maybe even longer. I think my extroverted side comes as quite a shock to someone after I know them enough to let it loose.

You may recall from another post, that I have difficulty concentrating around certain kinds of noise, so much so that I often opt for hearing protectors to block out sounds. It so happens that the main sounds that distract me are human voices. My extroverted side wants to know what they are talking about and join into the conversation. This is yet another example of my affinity toward the people I find interesting.

More info about omniverts can be found here: What Is an Omnivert? – Meaning And Traits.

Possible discussion ideas.

  1. How would you describe yourself (extrovert, introvert, ambivert, omnivert)?
  2. Do you know any competitive extroverts?
  3. Do you get annoyed when someone hogs all the attention?
  4. Ever feel really sad when company goes home?
  5. Do you know someone who never listens?
  6. Know any talkers who are quite most of the time?

What I’m curious about today.

I’m curious about a lot of things because my mind wonders a lot. Today, when I woke up, there was a question in my mind I was wondering about, and I was curious as to the answer. The question was simply, do other people actually feel empathy? Is it real, or just something we do to be nice when we feel like it?

The other day I was messaging a friend of mine and I mentioned something that was deeply troubling me. She glossed right over it. It was like the message wasn’t even sent, or it slipped through the crack into the twilight zone. If she read it, she would know why I do what I do. I’m sure it was because she is completely submerged in her own painful feelings and oblivious to mine. There’s really not much bandwidth left for anyone else’s feelings. That’s what I tell myself anyway, because it’s easier to accept, but I honestly can’t prove she feels anything about me.

You can be in a room full of people, and still be utterly alone.

We can be surrounded by people who we presume love us, but do they really have any feelings for us? Can they actually feel what we are feeling, or are we going it alone? It also makes me ask the question, are there people sitting right next to me who are quietly suffering and trying to reach out? Does it really do any good to tell anyone anything? You can be in a room full of people, and still be utterly alone. This is what a lack of empathy does to people. It shuts them inside themselves with feelings that can never be released or heard, and eventually it eats away everything inside you.

I know it’s kind of a depressing thought, but when you experience and ponder everything, you eventually run into a few negative ideas and feelings. I was just curious about this one this morning.

Discussion Prompts

  1. Do you ever feel like no one is actually listening?
  2. Do you think people actually feel what you feel?
  3. Have you had someone totally gloss over what you said?
  4. Do you find yourself too occupied with your own feelings?
  5. Do you ever feel alone, even when you are around others?
  6. I’ve been told that loneliness is actually a growing problem, agree?
  7. Are there feelings you have no way to release?

Let me know what you think in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!