One might describe me as a reluctant introvert. Outwardly, I usually seem very quiet, but this appearance belies my true nature. Over the years, I have learned to spend a lot of time alone, but I am not a true introvert. Under most social conditions, I can’t completely assume the characteristics of an extrovert, but I’m sure it would be very enjoyable if I could.
One of the main reasons I can’t be extroverted in every social situation is because I am unable or unwilling to overcome the extreme extroverts. A person who is overtly extroverted is highly competitive about getting and sustaining everyone’s attention. They won’t let anyone outdo them for long. It makes them uneasy. They might start looking for a different group if everyone tunes them out, one that listens to them and strokes their ego.
Have you ever been to a gathering and some guy says, why are you so quiet? Cat got your tongue? Don’t trust the quiet ones! If you have, you’ve met one of these competitive extroverts. They have to make the potential competition look weird or unworthy of hearing so they can keep the floor the whole time. They mostly do it subconsciously of course. They just can’t allow anyone to be heard above them. They’ve got to be the life of the party. Some people love this type of person, but many others, including myself, find them annoying and arrogant. Let someone else talk for a change!
I’m not pushy with my extroversion, but I know it’s still there. I want to be a person that people listen to sometimes, but I’ll take turns listening, and I mean really listening, not just thinking of my next funny reply. That’s another characteristic of the competitive extrovert. They never really hear anything you say because they only care about what they have to say. Their own ideas trump everyone else in the room.
I was then left all alone. I didn’t want to be alone again! I remember just sitting there by the porch, trying to play by myself, with tears rolling down my cheeks.
I experienced the need to be around people at an early age. One time when I was very young, several of my cousins came over to my house to play. We spent many hours playing, as kids often do. I don’t remember exactly what we did, probably involved lots of running around, or maybe playing a game, or we could have just played with cars or action figures under the big shade trees. The thing I do remember is when they all went home that evening. I was then left all alone. I didn’t want to be alone again! I remember just sitting there by the porch, trying to play by myself, with tears rolling down my cheeks. The emotional pain was overwhelming! I had found the thing that brings tears to my eyes, it’s simply the act of saying goodbye.
If I’m not an extrovert, and I’m not an introvert, then what am I? I believe the best way to describe my personality type would be to say that I’m an omnivert. I can sit quietly for long hours in contemplation and also do things that require incredible levels of concentration, like writing and programming computers for instance, but if I’m around people I like, I will become something totally different indeed.
I remember there was a girl I used to know, and once she started hanging out with me, she said something kind of funny. She said, wow, you’re a talker! She was very surprised to learn that I could keep a conversation going for as long as she wanted, maybe even longer. I think my extroverted side comes as quite a shock to someone after I know them enough to let it loose.
You may recall from another post, that I have difficulty concentrating around certain kinds of noise, so much so that I often opt for hearing protectors to block out sounds. It so happens that the main sounds that distract me are human voices. My extroverted side wants to know what they are talking about and join into the conversation. This is yet another example of my affinity toward the people I find interesting.
I’ve discussed this some in another post. It really depends on the nature of the work and how much thinking is involved. I am very easily distracted by sounds in the environment.
If it is physical labor that requires little or no thought, music would probably enjoyable and help to pass the time, but if it is mental work, which is mostly what I do, I would prefer absolute silence. I am very much an aural person, and any sounds, especially sounds that have a human voice, will be very distracting to me. I have already shared some of the music I listen to on Spotify.
Back when I used to program, it was almost always done on the weekends and in the wee hours of the night and early morning. I always liked being awake during these hours because everything was so silent. It just made it a lot more easier for me to concentrate and get things done. The state of flow doesn’t really come over me in a noisy room.
Do you listen to music while you work? Can you concentrate in a noisy room? Let’s hear about it, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
I debated whether or not to post this one because it deals with the supernatural. In general, I do not like supernatural topics. I try to avoid talking about this subject. It gets my mind wondering and then I can’t sleep at night. If I’m around people, it doesn’t bother me too much. I’m pretty bold when I’m around friends, but if I’m home alone and I hear a strange noise, it will literally send shivers up and down my spine. I do not find this feeling pleasant at all!
I don’t even like all the television programs that are on these days talking about subjects like ghost hunting and big foot chasing. It’s not that I’m against them. I mean, it’s just entertainment for a lot of people who like to be creeped out. It’s only slightly different from watching a horror movie, which I also don’t particularly like doing. There’s just one difference. Shows about the supernatural hint that these things are real. I believe that can have a profound effect on someone psychologically, especially if they are not mentally and spiritually strong or they are prone to negative thinking.
I think the supernatural is something you shouldn’t spend a lot of time thinking about. It really has very little to do with your job of living.
Basically, I think the supernatural is something you shouldn’t spend a lot of time thinking about. It really has very little to do with your job of living. It may occasionally play a part in your spiritual life, or maybe ease your acceptance that death is not the end, but that’s about it. There are so many mental ledges you could fall from if you spend too much time on the fringe, but occasionally, you may run smack into something that you just can’t explain rationally. One such thing happened to me a few nights ago, but it took me some time to put it all together and realize what it meant.
I was going over to a bar just a short walk away from the sports bar I used to frequent on karaoke nights before it closed down permanently. This other bar is a basement bar, which means you have to walk down a flight of metal stairs to get to the bar on the basement floor. It’s a fairly big bar, and pretty popular in town, especially for members of the service industry. All this has nothing to do with the story I’m about to tell and I could have just as well been walking to Disney World. It did happen at night though, which is when all the creepy things take place in my opinion.
I was walking on a narrow sidewalk adjacent to a building of maybe three floors, not a big building at all for downtown. The basement bar is actually right around the corner from this sidewalk. The only nearby entrance that seems to be facing this sidewalk is to an old bookstore, which does make the place seem creepier. The bookstore was closed, and the sidewalk was completely deserted by this time. There wasn’t a soul within sight or earshot at that moment, and it was quiet enough that you could have easily heard them if there was.
As I walked down this sidewalk in the still night, I did hear something though. It was a very quiet tinkle of a sound. At first, I thought it sounded like change hitting the ground close to my feet, but it didn’t quite have the heaviness of quarters striking pavement. It was much quieter. I almost didn’t even hear it at all, except the noise was right beside my feet as I walked by.
Of course, when something happens that close to you, you assume it came from you, like maybe you dropped something out of your pocket, but I don’t carry change. It made me question what it could be enough to turn around and scan the ground around my feet. It wasn’t a brightly lit sidewalk, but there was a light on the other side of the street, so I could make out things on the sidewalk, and it wasn’t hard to find what had fallen because it was actually a small shiny object that reflected the light from the streetlamp.
The object I was holding in my hand was a lightweight reflective piece of aluminum that looked roughly like a ring.
I knew it didn’t look like change, so I bent down and picked it up to see what this object was that fell out of the sky right by my feet. I found that even more strange. The object I was holding in my hand was a lightweight reflective piece of aluminum that looked roughly like a ring. Upon closer examination, I identified it as a piece of a broken door lock because it had the word Kwikset engraved on it, a well-known manufacturer of door locks, and because it looked similar to other faceplates I’ve seen before.
The peculiar thing about this was the fact that there were no doors above my head. It’s conceivable that it just fell off the rooftop at the exact moment I walked by, but that seems extremely unlikely. Why would this type of door lock part just be sitting on the edge of the roof waiting to fall? I thought, maybe someone threw it at me from afar, but there was no one anywhere near me. The entire street and surroundings were completely dead at that moment. It would also have probably bounced off the wall beside me, not just fallen straight down at my feet, and it didn’t seem to have any greater force behind it than the force of gravity drawing it to the ground.
I felt completely safe at that moment, and the object was so unscary that I actually put it on my finger like a ring and continued on my way, thinking it might make a good story.
There was also another odd thing I noticed. I swear I can almost sense bad things around me, like I have a Spidey sense or something. If this object or moment was at all creepy, I would have run for the hills. I felt completely safe at that moment, and the object was so unscary that I actually put it on my finger like a ring and continued on my way, thinking it might make a good story.
It did garner a question from a couple of girls who happened to come up beside me at the bar. I was sitting by the well, and they noticed it on my finger and asked, what sort of ring is that? It occurred to me that this might be a good way to make conversation. Just have something on you that seems a little out of place and people will start a conversation about it. The hour eventually became late, and I left the ring behind somewhere and journeyed home.
I really didn’t think too much about it for a few days, but then, as minds are prone to do, mine began to wonder. Why would a broken door lock fall from the heavens? What are the statistical chances of it landing right by my feet? Why that night? It seemed like everything would have to be so perfectly aligned for this anomaly to happen that it just seemed completely impossible. Also, this event had all the underpinnings of something utterly supernatural, but why was I not scared?
As my mind began to explore this odd synchronicity, something just hit me out of the blue, and it really freaked me out, but I wasn’t sure, so I had to check something out. I took a picture of the object that night when I was sitting at the bar. That picture has a timestamp with a date on it. What had then occurred to me, is that I had made a blog post about a dream I had a while back. It was a dream that I suspected to be a message from heaven. I looked at the date on the post and my jaw dropped open. The broken lock fell from the heavens on the very same day the post was published! Also, based on the time I took the picture, which was a little after I got inside the bar, it is very likely that the event occurred at the very stroke of midnight! How’s that for supernatural!
I looked at the date on the post and my jaw dropped open. The broken lock fell from the heavens on the very same day the post was published!
Screenshot showing post date for Dream messages.Screenshot showing timestamp of photo taken night of event.
This finding greatly magnified the peculiarity of the synchronicity of these events. The broken lock was a reply to my blog post! You can read the original post here: Dream Messages. It was literally a reply from heaven! People might interpret this miraculous sign different ways, but I believe it was saying something like this, I see you have received the message I sent you in your dreams and translated it. Don’t be afraid, and don’t worry. You are safe, and here’s a sign from heaven to prove it. I have broken the lock on death’s door so you can return home when your work is finished.
I see you have received the message I sent you in your dreams and translated it. Don’t be afraid, and don’t worry. You are safe, and here’s a sign from heaven to prove it. I have broken the lock on death’s door so you can return home when your work is finished.
Interestingly enough, the daily prompt today is about whether you think spirituality is important. I feel like this is the perfect post for this prompt, but I suspect it was all planned that way. I feel obligated to share this post with you. If you are reading this, I’m sure it was part of your fate to cross my path and experience it with me, so I’m scheduling it to be released at the hour I think is most appropriate, the very stroke of midnight! Happy reading!
Dare I ask this one, but have you ever had a brush with the supernatural? Do you believe in signs and wonders? Do you believe in an afterlife? Do you think spirituality is important? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like and subscribe!
When I was very young, I lived with my grandparents, and the neighborhood had quite a few people from their generation. One such couple lived right across the garden from the place where I lived.
I should explain that it was a small rural town that I lived in, and practically everyone had a garden. Most of the people in the community were retired farmers, so it made sense that they would continue their occupation on a smaller scale in their golden years. It kept them active, and also produced a lot of fresh vegetables every year.
This couple had a son who was killed in tragic accident, leaving several children behind, most of which were girls, but there was one boy, and all these children lived with their grandparents next door, right on the other side of the garden. Some of my earliest memories as a kid was with these girls. They came over often, and were among my first friends. I would definitely say those early interactions with them had a profound lifelong effect on how I see girls.
I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life, and I just liked everything about her.
On one warm summer day, I remember being outside, when one, or maybe more than one, of these girls came over. They had another girl with them that I had never seen before. She was slightly younger than me and had light blonde hair. She sort of struck differently from other girls. I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life, and I just liked everything about her.
They didn’t stay too long this time. I think they were mainly introducing her to us. You see, these girl’s deceased dad had a brother, and he was getting married to this girl’s mother, so she was becoming a new member of their family. She wouldn’t be living next door, but the idea that I might see more of her made me really happy.
She stormed out of the house and looked very upset about something. She then walked around the side of the house and just stood there. It looked like she was pouting about something.
When they left, I continued about my day, but I was still very curious about this new girl. I remember I kept looking over toward her grandmother’s house, hoping she would come outside, and then I saw something odd happen. She stormed out of the house and looked very upset about something. She then walked around the side of the house and just stood there. It looked like she was pouting about something. Maybe it was my imagination, but I sort of got the impression that she wanted to come back over to my house, but they told her no.
That’s about all I remember of that day, but when school started back up she was there. She wasn’t in my grade, but I saw her on the playground everyday. She had made friends with a girl and they would walk around the playground together. I don’t remember all the interactions that lead up to it, but I somehow ended up talking to them one day.
We just walked around the playground holding hands, but I remember on one occasion she kissed me on the cheek. I remember it made me feel really happy inside.
We were all quite young, but we seemed to know about boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. It seems odd that romantic feelings would exist even in grade school, but there they were. I think she asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend, and I said yes of course. It was all very innocent. We just walked around the playground holding hands, but I remember on one occasion she kissed me on the cheek. I remember it made me feel really happy inside.
I never wanted it to end, but eventually it did, and then I had to watch her walk around the playground holding another guy’s hand. I was young though, so there weren’t really any bad feelings about it, but I honestly never stopped liking her.
I never found the courage to make that ride though. I left the letter stuffed inside the handlebars of my old bike, never to be read by anyone.
I remember one day I thought up this brilliant idea. I would write her a love letter to tell her all the things I wanted to say to her. I would then get on my bicycle and pedal all the way out to her house in the country and hand deliver it. I never found the courage to make that ride though. I left the letter stuffed inside the handlebars of my old bike, never to be read by anyone.
We went though many grades together, and I watched her grow up, still always beautiful, still always positive and funny. I remember we would occasionally interact, but as I grew older, I became increasingly shyer, and I was especially shy around her.
I remember one day I ended up sitting on the bus beside her by accident. I was so nervous that I couldn’t even say anything. She didn’t say anything to me either. I loved that she was sitting with me, but it was very awkward. I thought she probably saw me as weird just sitting there perfectly quiet. If only she knew how I really felt.
I was a little heartbroken, but how could a shy guy like me ever get up the nerve to ask her out?
She eventually moved off to another town, met some guy, and got married. I don’t think she was even out of high school yet. I was a little heartbroken, but how could a shy guy like me ever get up the nerve to ask her out? I also wasn’t exactly the coolest guy around back then (That came later, 😉 ). She could do way better than me.
I had finally gained my nerve, and so I told her all about my crush on her. Turns out, she had a crush on me too.
Marriage pretty much ended any hope I had of being with her, and we eventually lost track of each other, but eventually we found each other again through the magic of social media. At some point, I began to notice that she seemed to like practically everything I posted. Curious about that, I messaged her and started a conversation. I had finally gained my nerve, and so I told her all about my crush on her. Turns out, she had a crush on me too.
We are still friends to this day, and I believe she is actually the only friend I stayed in contact with from childhood. She just started a new relationship. I hope it works out. The other day I sent her a text about one of my writing prompts. I will share our responses.
Hottie from across the garden.
Did you ever find out later that someone you had a crush on also had one on you? Did you ever tell someone that you had a crush on them? What’s your story? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to subscribe!
Ken's Life 
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