My how time flies! Can you believe it’s been a whole year since I signed up on WordPress and started this blog? Seems like it was just yesterday that I was picking out a theme and figuring out the features. Here are a few stats to show how far I’ve come since I started.
I have made 330 posts counting this one.
I have posted a total of 141,995 words prior to this one.
I have acquired 1,416 blog subscribers. Thank you so much for subscribing!
There has been a total of 3,285 comment posts. Thank you for being so interactive!
There has been over 1.3K shares on Twitter (X) and 1.3K shares on Facebook, and over 1.2K shares on most of the other sharing sites supported by the platform. Thank you for sharing!
Aside from the numbers, I feel like I have grown in many other ways by starting the blog.
I have become better and more comfortable with writing.
I have learned how to open up about things I used to keep to myself.
I have met and interacted with some really amazing people.
I have shared a part of my life, leaving a small footprint on the world.
I have felt supported by an incredible community.
I have entered a considerably better state of mind.
I have learned that blogging is about people more than money.
Thank you all for reading, liking, sharing, and contributing to this site! You have made it a wonderful experience for me! Let’s do it again!
Have you enjoyed this blog? What’s your favorite part? Do you have a favorite post? Is it easy to read? What would you like to see more of? What keeps you coming back? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
Today’s question is how do I unwind after a demanding day?
Believe it or not, I am under quite a bit of stress. I have people who count on me every day. Business processes would fail if I was unable to properly manage the resources for which I am responsible. Knowing this, coupled with my natural desire to keep things up and running, builds up a lot of stress inside me.
A lot of workplaces are also highly competitive, though it is often masked by nice mannerism. The battle is fought using office politics, subtle manipulation, and passive aggressive behavior. I believe it’s just the nature of people when they come together and there is some perceived prize that they think they can wriggle out of someone’s hands. In my opinion, this greatly magnifies the stress in a workplace.
I know a lot of this competitiveness stems from envy, but I have never been that envious of anyone. It’s simply not my vice, but I have other vices to make up for it. I mean, different vices call to different people. I think my lack of envy probably stems from the fact that I have never been all that competitive. I hope we all win! I can also be fairly successful without being vicious or filled with hate. My ability to succeed stems entirely from my own creativity, hard work, patience, and of course, the blessings of God.
I could write at lengths on details about why I’m stressed, but this question is about unwinding from that stress. There was a time when I didn’t really need a strategy for this, but these days I would be dragged down without doing something to recuperate. Below is a list of the things I use to unwind from the stress of the day. It’s not exhaustive, and I’m always looking for ways to destress (suggestions please!). Honestly, I sometimes fear that my life will be reduced to just doing coping methods all day, while lying in a fetal position, hoping life will leave me alone for a change. Just kidding! (maybe).
Sleep
I sleep a lot more these days. Not necessarily at night though. My sleep cycle seems to be eight or ten hours off. I really don’t start to feel awake until the sun is on its way down in the afternoon. That being said, without sleep, I will fall apart, so I take naps during the day to compensate. I take a brief one around noon, and another one when I first get home from work. It is actually surprising how much energy is restored to me from only a few minutes of shut eye. I feel like naps were once a lot more common, but after the industrial age the focus was on long hours of production. Sleep was considered lazy, but your body and mind need it desperately.
Walking
Since I moved to this city, I started walking around quite a bit. I like being out and about. There is usually something to see, and I am always meeting interesting new people. For instance, below is something I saw while walking home the other day. I also work in a building that is pretty big and spread out, so I walk quite a way indoors just to get to where I need to be. Walking is good exercise, which is important for your health, and also reduces stress.
Video of someone doing motorcycle stunts in the street.
Reading
I spend a lot of time reading, and I also like to listen to audiobooks while I’m walking around the city. I have had a scription to Audible for many years now. I used to use it while commuting, but now I mainly use it while walking. I still listen to it while driving, but it’s a really short commute to the office these days. In the past, I read a lot of self-help books. I think they helped to get me where I am today because they motivated me to keep going. Motivational and inspirational reading can help you feel better about life, which reduces stress.
Writing
I have always liked the idea of being a writer, but I don’t know that there was a good outlet for that in the past. I mean, I would start writing stories I had in mind as a kid, but then I would stall. Discovering blogging and self-publishing has opened up a new door for creativity. I have always felt like I should give something back to all those writers I read over the years. They helped me to believe in myself. They gave me hope.
Storms
I’ve mentioned this before, but the sound of rain and thunder calms me down. I feel like I am one with the spirit of the storm. If you are wondering, people who love the sound of rain are called pluviophiles. It’s a real thing.
There’s a special app I use to play rain and thunder sounds through my computer speakers. It is called Ambie, and you can get it in the Microsoft store for free. There is a lot of sounds you can mix together to get whatever ambient noise you want to hear, but I usually settle for the rain sounds. I often sleep with this on all night because it relaxes me.
There are also lots of YouTube channels that specialize in ambient rain and thunder sounds. I subscribe to a few of those. Below is an example of what I’m talking about.
Video of ambient storm sounds in a bedroom setting with a fireplace.
Music
I sometimes listen to music. Music has a profound way of changing my mood. Every song has a different effect on me, some energize me, some pull on my heart strings, some make me sad, and some inspire me to be creative. If I select just the right one, it can help to destress me from a long day.
I’m always open to suggestions if you have any. I often try new artists. Actually, I’m always looking for new things to try out, not just in music. It keeps life interesting.
I heard the one below from a remix I saw on Instagram. The post kind of called to me, so I looked up the song and artist. It’s new to me, because I don’t typically hear this type of music where I live. I kind of like it though. Maybe you will too.
A music video of Katie Melua singing Wonderful Life.
Alcohol
I was taught this was a bad thing growing up, but I sometimes think it is helpful for unwinding from a stressful day. In a previous book I read, it was mentioned that alcohol is an agent of myopia. That is to say, it numbs the mind in such a way that it can only focus on one thing at a time. This can be helpful when there are too many thoughts going through your head. Unfortunately, if that one thing is bad, it doesn’t help too much, so you have to be careful.
If you want to read more about the alcohol myopia theory I mentioned here, I suggest you read Malcolm Gladwell‘s Talking to Strangers. It’s non-fiction, but definitely an interesting read. I’ve actually read most of his books. They are all pretty thought provoking.
Friendship
I occasionally stumble upon some really awesome person who teaches me so much about life and opens my eyes to my own undiscovered self. I know those special people are sent by God at just the right time in your soul’s evolution. I owe some of them a debt I will never be able to repay. They literally saved my life. The love I have for them actually brings tears to my eyes just writing this. I wish they could remain with me for a lifetime, but there is a season to everything in this world. Only Heaven is forever, and I know I will see them there one day.
Family
I had a wonderful family. I often look back on memories of my dad and grandmother. They taught me that being good was important and that there was greater meaning to everything we do in life. They taught me about prayer and instilled a belief in a higher power. They laid the foundation to a persona that has withstood everything that life has thrown at it and even thrived. God rest their souls eternally.
There is also this thing I sometimes do when I wake up and don’t know if I can do this day. I just lay there and imagine my grandmother petting my head like she did when I was young and sick with fever. The affection that someone shows you in childhood lasts a lifetime. Till this day, I don’t think I could make it without her. It’s just a memory, but it has a profound power over reality.
Faith
The most powerful thing I have in my arsenal against everything the world can throw at me is my undying faith in almighty God. When I am at my lowest, I pray. I feel an uplifting power coming from it. It is sometimes even overwhelming, sending chills down my spine. I know his spirit is with me always. It is the one constant in my life since childhood, the one person who will never desert or forsake me, the one person who was with me in the beginning of my life and will still be there to greet me on the other side.
How do you unwind? How do you deal with stress at work? Have you ever had to deal with office politics? What vice is your weakness? Have you met any special people who get you through? Do memories change the present? Are you a pluviophile? Do you have any song suggestions? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
Today I am asked if I could have something named after me, what would it be?
People like having things named after them for some reason. I think it makes them feel like they are immortalized somehow, just by having a street or building named after them. I actually don’t buy into that idea. Roads and buildings are not eternal either, nothing in this world is. I also don’t really know those people. They might actually be terrible individuals and unworthy of remembering.
I also question what they really had to do with the thing that carries their name anyway. Did they build it themselves? This blog carries my name, and I wrote every line you read. That doesn’t seem so bad to me. If you breathed life into it yourself, then it makes since that it carries your name. It came from your soul. It is a part of you that you shared with others. I guess that’s what I would want to be named after me. The things that came from my soul. Anything else would just bragging about my good fortune.
What would you like to have named after you? Do you currently have something named after you? Are there other ways of being immortalized? Is there something you see every day that bears someone’s name? Do you put your heart and soul into anything? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
Today’s prompt is what do I wish I could do more of every day? I think about this a lot. It sometimes feels like I am using all my time and energy up on things that just pay the bills. I suspect that’s true for most people, but I find it sad. Maybe it’s selfish, but I feel like it’s my life, and most of my time should be spent on self improvement and life enjoyment. When I do get a few days off, which is usually only during Spring Break, I thoroughly love it, and wish it would never end. Below are a few things I would like to do every day.
Contemplation. I like to think about things. Sometimes I talk about those things to God in prayer. It helps me to make sense of life. I feel like this is the only way to give life any meaning. I guess this is what Socrates meant when he said “the unexamined life is not worth living.”
Conversation. I like to talk to likeminded friends and sometimes even strangers. This helps me to understand everyone better. A good conversation can be very satisfying and sometimes even enlightening.
Observation. I like to see and experience new things. This can include a variety of things, such as travel, art, music, food, nature, etc. Experiencing beauty makes me happy. It would also include people watching, which is always entertaining.
Stories. The idea of having so much free time that I could just sit and read a book for as long as I wanted sounds pretty good to me. This would also include audiobooks, and movies. I especially like stories that make you consider something new.
Writing. I like writing, which includes writing stories of my own or blogging. Good writing seems to be one of the longest lasting mediums for human creativity. Writing has survived for thousands of years and will continue to serve countless generations.
Learning. I like to learn new things. Not all of the books I read are stories, many are non-fiction. I’ve read plenty of books over self-help, psychology, health, management, religion, finance, etc.
Affection. Not going to lie, I would love to have more time for affection and romance. It’s hard to find the right person of course. There is nothing quite like the feeling of being in love, and having the time to spend with this special person.
What would you like to do more of every day? Do you feel like you don’t have enough time for yourself? Is there something you would add to the list? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
Today’s question is what strategies do I use to cope with negative feelings? This is definitely an area where I need to improve. I have been dealing with about seven years’ worth of negative feelings, so I should be good at it by now, but I don’t think I have any strategy that works perfectly.
Before I get started on my list, I want to relate something I do that helps me get the motivation to get out of bed. On the days I can’t sleep the day away, I will hit the snooze on the alarm and just lay there thinking. I have this memory of my late grandmother stroking my hair on the days I was ill and feverish and telling me it would be okay. Even though I felt sick enough to die, it somehow made me feel like living. I found that memory also works on days when I am just sick of life. I will lay there in bed and imagine my grandmother stroking my hair and telling me the day will be fine. That memory is really the last time I felt true affection from another person. It was pure and unconditional love. Somewhere along the way, affection became tainted by people using it to get what they want. Pure unadulterated affection is probably the most powerful medicine in the world. Unfortunately, I can only find it in my distant memories now, but it still melts away all the suffering. Thank you, grandma, for healing me through endless ages with your love.
Prayer. I pray to God a lot. It’s not like a traditional prayer, but like a very long conversation, sometimes spanning hours. There has never been a time when I thought I lost God’s attention though. He’s pretty much the only person who listens to me. I am reminded of David’s very famous line, “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.” (Psalm 139:8). It really is true. He is always with his children, wherever they may find themselves.
Games. I sometimes play video games. I’m not super into it like some people. I think this stems from the fact that I am not at all competitive. I mainly use games as a distraction. There is one thing about them that drags me into them. I sort of connect with the hero archetype that is personified in many games. If the right cause awakens me, I will slay all your dragons. Basically, I have a hero complex, otherwise known as a savior complex. If my people need me, I will rescue them.
Conversation. If I meet the right person while I am out, we will have a wonderful time together, just talking the night away. I love conversing with those people. Sometimes I get to hear their whole life story, and I love true stories! Sometimes they are unloading emotional problems, and I’m totally there to hear them out. There’s also a surprising amount of intellectual, philosophical, and political discussions that happen at bars. I’m a great listener, and it’s definitely a good distraction.
Dreams. Occasionally I have bad dreams, but for the most part my dreams are tolerable, sometimes even pleasant. In my dreams, I am not myself. I am free to be whoever I want. It is so liberating! I sometimes wish I could just change my name, move far away, and start over, meeting all new people. Dreams are the closest I come to that wish.
Reading. I read a lot of books. My record for a year is over one hundred books. That used to be the goal I set each year. I don’t read as much as that anymore, but it has always been a part of my life. A good book is one of the only things that can sufficiently distract me from my troubles. I also listen to audiobooks when I go on walks or drive long distance.
Writing. As you know, I write blog posts quite often. It helps me to get things out in the open. I am probably too open with strangers, but they are mostly supportive in the blogging community. There is some degree of protection from the anonymity of it all I suppose. To me, blogging is very therapeutic. I also dream of being a novelist one day, if I can ever straighten my emotions out enough stay on it.
Women. I’m not going to lie, a lot of the negativity that encroaches on my happiness is from the heartbreak women have caused me. That being said, those same women filled my life with incredible happiness when they were with me. That’s why losing them hurt me so badly. I don’t think women realize how much power they have to heal. I know if the right girl came along, she would easily be able to wipe away all the hurt of those who left me in shambles. It’s almost too much power for any person to wield. I suppose there are women who feel the same way about men.
Thunder. I don’t know why, but rolling thunder and rain help me to relax. I have an app that just plays the sound of thunder and rain. I use it to fall asleep some nights. It also seems to reduce the chances of me waking up over in the night. I suppose it is the remnant of childhood memories where the rain on our tin roof helped me sleep, or maybe thunder just scares off negative forces. Either way, the thunderstorm is one of my dearest friends.
Are there any memories from your childhood that get you through the day? What is your view of affection on mental health? Did you have a good relationship with your parents and grandparents? Do you have any good coping strategies you would add? What’s the biggest source of negativity in your life? Do you have a savior complex?
Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
Today, I am asked to describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to. I believe it started sometime in 2018 and lasted until late 2023. I think of this phase as the period of hope. My life was in pretty bad shape when the period began, but someone came along who gave me hope that things would improve somehow. I just couldn’t figure out how to make the right changes happen without messing a lot of things up for everyone, so I just stalled. I relied entirely on hope, but at least I had that to keep me going.
Sometime in 2023, around the time I paused on my blogging, a couple of events occurred that caused me to lose all the hope I had of a miracle happening. It seemed to have been preceded by a reading of cards, indicating that a new beginning was coming. It was also around the time the person who started this period briefly came back into my life to announce her marriage was a total failure and she had filed for divorce. I think things will keep going and I will be okay, but I don’t have much hope things will correct themselves at this point.
Now, I have the period of drinking and bar patronizing to look forward to. What joy. At least my ability to write convincing characters with severe alcohol problems is maturing rapidly. I also have the bar scene down pat, if I need to incorporate that into a book. I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve heard of writers doing a bit of wine bibbing. Steven King devoted some lines to his experience with it in his book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. At least I haven’t taken up smoking yet. I’m mostly just kidding about this (maybe).
It’s not all bad. The period of hope actual made me stressed enough to quit my job and take on a new one. It pretty much doubled my salary. The struggle to pay the rent kind of flew out the window after that, along with all my other money problems. Being able to live large did open up other doorways though, hence the bar hopping. It’s still lonely, but that’s kind of my fault. I can be lonely in a crowded room full of people, if it’s not the right people.
I’m not new to the phases of life, having endured quite a few by now. They all seem like mini lifetimes in themselves, barely having any relation to previous periods, each one with its own distinct personality and habits. I’m just now being introduced to this new one’s personality. Maybe he and I will become great friends by the end. You don’t know until it’s over, whether they will also be difficult to say goodbye to, or you welcome their exit off center stage with a swift kick. I guess we’ll see, but the most concerning thing to me is who I will be when they leave.
What phase did you hate to leave behind? Do phases of life seem to have a distinct personality? Ever have to give up hope on something you wanted badly? Do you struggle with loneliness? How would you describe the current phase of your life? Let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to like and subscribe!
Three years is not a huge leap into the future, unless you are maybe a four-year-old. I have doubts that my life will change significantly in such a short span of time. I don’t have any big plans that will come into fruition in the near future either. It’s kind of sad, but I expect there will just be three more years of getting up early and heading off to a job, trying to squeeze something fun into the weekend, and hoping something awesome will happen, or I will meet someone who changes everything for the better. I suppose the only thing I have to look forward to is more blog posts to write, more books to read, and maybe a book to publish. I just pray that I don’t lose any more people out of my life between now and then. That would likely be unbearable.
Just a little note. I’m totally confused about these daily prompts right now. My phone shows one prompt, but the computer shows a different one, and this prompt looks like it should have come a couple days back. I’m really just trying to catch up here, lol. What could have caused this?
What does your life look like in three years? Have any big plans? Is my life incredibly boring right now? (yes, it is, lol). Have any suggestions on making the next three years awesome? What was the best three years of your life, and what triggered it? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
Looking back at my browser history, it looks like I spend most of my time logging into this WordPress installation. A lot of the other websites I visit are related to it, as they are where I share social media posts about this site, including Twitter, Facebook, etc. I would honestly say that I’m not much of a web surfer these days. If it isn’t related to blogging, then I’m probably just looking something up or doing some online shopping. This is probably why SEO is so important.
I do spend quite a bit of time on Amazon. I also have the app installed on my phone. It seems like I can find pretty much every product I need in one place, which is a huge convenience. I also make extensive use of their subscribe and save feature. Most of the products I buy repeatedly are completely automated. I find this feature particularly useful with vitamins and supplements, as the timing can be guesstimated. I also have the most important supplement, expresso beans, shipped automatically every month. This feature saves me about 15% on these purchases. I’m also an Amazon Prime member, which has a cost, but more than pays for itself with all I get from it. Additionally, I have been an Audible.com member for many years, which is owned by Amazon. Of course, as mentioned in a previous post, I’m also an Amazon Affliliate.
I’m honestly not a big fan of department stores or discount stores, like Walmart, Target, etc. It’s not their fault. It just takes a lot of time that I will never get back. The only downside of ordering online is that I often get the wrong size and have to send it back. I really don’t like doing returns, though Amazon does make it pretty easy, and they also have the try before you buy feature. If only I could try it on in the app before they ship it, that would be perfect!
Looking back at my web history, here are a few sites I have visited frequently. I don’t think any of them are too surprising.
pexels.com This site has lots of great photos for blogs.
canva.com This site is great for making post graphics.
What sites do you frequent? Do you have any sites you would recommend? Do you do a lot of online shopping? Do you spend a lot of time at traditional shopping outlets? Do you also listen to audiobooks?
A pastime is something you do for fun that isn’t work. I honestly don’t have as much time as I would like for pastimes. Usually, when I get home from work, I’m kind of mentally exhausted. Very often I will simply lay down and take a brief nap. Short naps can usually help me to rejuvenate enough to actually think straight for a few more hours before bedtime. Really the weekends are my best shot for a pastime though.
I guess the thing that fits the category of pastime the most for me would be reading and writing. I spend a lot of time doing that, but I don’t know that it’s always productive because a lot of the reading is spent on social media. I think that’s a pastime for a lot of people, but I sometimes wonder if it isn’t just a waste of time. To me, the most productive time is spent reading actual books and doing actual writing, like I do on this blog.
Another pastime I have is walking downtown. It’s nice having bars, restaurants, coffee shops, and stores within walking distance of where I live. That’s a luxury I have never had before in my life and it’s wonderful. There’s even two comedy clubs and a movie theater, and live music playing every weekend. It’s very addictive I must admit, and also quite expensive. I’ve actually been trying to cut back on some of that, partly to save money, but also because I don’t think it is a very productive use of time either.
I do a lot of thinking also. Sometimes I will brew a pot of tea in my teapot and just sit and ponder life. Sometimes it’s pleasant, but very often I get stuck on something depressing or worrisome. It’s really the tea that’s positive come to think of it, and not the thinking. Contemplating life probably isn’t the best pastime.
What’s a pastime or hobby that you have? Do you spend too much time on social media? Do you think social media is a waste of time? Do you have ways of rejuvenating yourself or giving yourself more energy? Do you take naps also? What do you do to relax and put your mind at ease? Let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
I think I’ve spent quite a bit of my life learning new skills. For some reason, I was always trying to absorb one more thing. Even now, I find focusing on learning as a way of coping with life. The problem is, I’ve tried quite a lot of things already, and I’m just not as motivated as I used to be. It might also be that I found some things to be more interesting than skill acquisition, and it’s easy to become distracted.
One of the skills I’m working on right now is writing. I think writing well would be a great skill to have, but it is very challenging. I’m currently reading a few books on the subject actually, trying to develop more skills in that area. I’m also getting lots of writing practice with this blog, which is great! Ultimately, I would like to complete a novella or novelette. I feel like that’s a doable goal, because they don’t have a huge wordcount. The wordcount of a novella is somewhere between 17,500 and 40,000 words, and a novelette is even smaller with around 7,700 to 17,500 words. Maybe if I’m successful, I will move on to a larger writing project, like a full novel or something. Hopefully, I will get better and better, and eventually get there someday.
I’m reading this series of books over writing a novel. I started with the first one and kind of liked it, so I just kept going. It’s really cool when someone creates a series like this. Listing the first couple of books in the series below. I’ve already finished reading them both. I’m pretty happy with the content, very informative.
Writers often look upon outlines with fear and trembling. But when properly understood and correctly wielded, the outline is one of the most powerful weapons in a writer’s arsenal. Outlining Your Novel: Map Your Way to Success will:
Help you choose the right type of outline for you
Guide you in brainstorming plot ideas
Aid you in discovering your characters
Show you how to structure your scenes
Explain how to format your finished outline
Instruct you in how to use your outline
Reveal the benefits
Dispel the misconceptions
Includes exclusive interviews with ten respected authors, answering important questions about outlining.
Is Structure the Hidden Foundation of All Successful Stories?
Why do some stories work and others don’t? The answer is structure. In this award-winning guide from the author of the acclaimed Outlining Your Novel, you will learn the universal underpinnings that guarantee powerful plot and character arcs. An understanding of proper story and scene structure will show you how to perfectly time your story’s major events and will provide you with an unerring standard against which to evaluate your novel’s pacing and progression.
Includes exclusive interviews with ten respected authors, answering important questions about outlining.
Have you mastered a lot of skills? Do you constantly seek out new skills? What skill would you like to learn? How do you stay motivated? Have you ever wanted to write a novel? Let us know in the comments, and please like, share, and subscribe!
Ken's Life 
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