Today’s question is what strategies do I use to cope with negative feelings? This is definitely an area where I need to improve. I have been dealing with about seven years’ worth of negative feelings, so I should be good at it by now, but I don’t think I have any strategy that works perfectly.
Before I get started on my list, I want to relate something I do that helps me get the motivation to get out of bed. On the days I can’t sleep the day away, I will hit the snooze on the alarm and just lay there thinking. I have this memory of my late grandmother stroking my hair on the days I was ill and feverish and telling me it would be okay. Even though I felt sick enough to die, it somehow made me feel like living. I found that memory also works on days when I am just sick of life. I will lay there in bed and imagine my grandmother stroking my hair and telling me the day will be fine. That memory is really the last time I felt true affection from another person. It was pure and unconditional love. Somewhere along the way, affection became tainted by people using it to get what they want. Pure unadulterated affection is probably the most powerful medicine in the world. Unfortunately, I can only find it in my distant memories now, but it still melts away all the suffering. Thank you, grandma, for healing me through endless ages with your love.
- Prayer. I pray to God a lot. It’s not like a traditional prayer, but like a very long conversation, sometimes spanning hours. There has never been a time when I thought I lost God’s attention though. He’s pretty much the only person who listens to me. I am reminded of David’s very famous line, “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.” (Psalm 139:8). It really is true. He is always with his children, wherever they may find themselves.
- Games. I sometimes play video games. I’m not super into it like some people. I think this stems from the fact that I am not at all competitive. I mainly use games as a distraction. There is one thing about them that drags me into them. I sort of connect with the hero archetype that is personified in many games. If the right cause awakens me, I will slay all your dragons. Basically, I have a hero complex, otherwise known as a savior complex. If my people need me, I will rescue them.
- Conversation. If I meet the right person while I am out, we will have a wonderful time together, just talking the night away. I love conversing with those people. Sometimes I get to hear their whole life story, and I love true stories! Sometimes they are unloading emotional problems, and I’m totally there to hear them out. There’s also a surprising amount of intellectual, philosophical, and political discussions that happen at bars. I’m a great listener, and it’s definitely a good distraction.
- Dreams. Occasionally I have bad dreams, but for the most part my dreams are tolerable, sometimes even pleasant. In my dreams, I am not myself. I am free to be whoever I want. It is so liberating! I sometimes wish I could just change my name, move far away, and start over, meeting all new people. Dreams are the closest I come to that wish.
- Reading. I read a lot of books. My record for a year is over one hundred books. That used to be the goal I set each year. I don’t read as much as that anymore, but it has always been a part of my life. A good book is one of the only things that can sufficiently distract me from my troubles. I also listen to audiobooks when I go on walks or drive long distance.
- Writing. As you know, I write blog posts quite often. It helps me to get things out in the open. I am probably too open with strangers, but they are mostly supportive in the blogging community. There is some degree of protection from the anonymity of it all I suppose. To me, blogging is very therapeutic. I also dream of being a novelist one day, if I can ever straighten my emotions out enough stay on it.
- Women. I’m not going to lie, a lot of the negativity that encroaches on my happiness is from the heartbreak women have caused me. That being said, those same women filled my life with incredible happiness when they were with me. That’s why losing them hurt me so badly. I don’t think women realize how much power they have to heal. I know if the right girl came along, she would easily be able to wipe away all the hurt of those who left me in shambles. It’s almost too much power for any person to wield. I suppose there are women who feel the same way about men.
- Thunder. I don’t know why, but rolling thunder and rain help me to relax. I have an app that just plays the sound of thunder and rain. I use it to fall asleep some nights. It also seems to reduce the chances of me waking up over in the night. I suppose it is the remnant of childhood memories where the rain on our tin roof helped me sleep, or maybe thunder just scares off negative forces. Either way, the thunderstorm is one of my dearest friends.
Are there any memories from your childhood that get you through the day? What is your view of affection on mental health? Did you have a good relationship with your parents and grandparents? Do you have any good coping strategies you would add? What’s the biggest source of negativity in your life? Do you have a savior complex?
Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!
Also, thanks for being here! Love you all!
Ken's Life 
You know what you said, that we have a lot in common? I’m getting closer to believing that, Ken.
I also pray, although I wish I could be doing that more often. It’s amazing when you pray and feel God’s presence, and you know that He hears you and is there for you.
I also love games, though probably not the same kind of games you play. I’m a Game House, time management geek. Those games charge me, and I also have a savior complex which the persons who stepped over my heart managed to tame in time.
I also enjoy talking to people, though you can’t always find good natured people who share the same interests and aren’t prone to judgement. However I wouldn’t get out in bars to have a chat with people, I’m too introverted for that matter. You’d probably find me in the library, browsing new titles and enjoying the new book smells.
I also have dreams, but I don’t hate them. Not entirely, at least. I’m a psychic and can feel when things go astray or when a big change occurs.
I love reading and writing though I can’t always find time for these. So, I get busy with my life, and when the noise of life gets too intense, I’ll be swamped in good books and writing.
I’ve been heartbroken countless times, but I don’t blame the people who hurt me anymore. I learned to move on and let go. I took my younger self by the hand and we sailed off those depression shores 🚢.
And I deeply love the rain sounds and thunder noises. These past weeks the weather has been rainy and while we didn’t have thunder I still loved it.
Regarding the last questions, well, my childhood wasn’t always so happy, you probably remember from our past conversations. It was a teachable moment in life and I was sad until I learned to get stronger and not allow people to hurt me anymore. It stopped me from wanting to save any other souls who didn’t want saving or my presence.
Thanks for sharing. I missed reading your posts. Wishing you a blessed week! ☘️
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I’m telling you friend; your soul is like looking at my soul’s reflection. 😊
I know what that presence feels like, and I have no doubt he’s listening. “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” — 1 John 5:14.
I looked up those games, lol! They seem pretty cool to me 😎
You have a beautiful 💗, Katherine! Having a heart allowed us to be hurt by people, so we learned to be very cautious. I hope it didn’t make you callous though. God formed you very beautifully on the inside! I hope you have the courage to stay true to who you are on the inside, but also wise enough to know who your real friends are.
I know what you mean. I don’t really judge people that much these days. I find that doing so causes them to be less open and honest. I really love it when two people can be completely open with each other about how they really feel. I really want to understand them completely.
I’m also kind of introverted, but bars are places where it’s very easy to strike up a conversation. It would be cool if there was a better way of breaking the ice. Honestly, I could have talked to this girl for hours, but I don’t know that I would have approached her at like a grocery store or something. It’s funny though, this conversation reminds me of something a friend told me a long time ago. He said, “you aren’t going to find the person you are looking for in a bar, because the person you are searching for doesn’t get out much; they are probably at the library or something.” 🤣 I like the smell of bookstores and libraries too, come to think of it. 🤔
Hey, we have something new in common, my little thunder lover! ⛈⚡
You are very welcome, Katherine. I 💗 reading your posts and comments also! Thanks for stopping by!
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Hehe, just a little bit of mirroring there 😅.
I appreciate your response to my long comment, and the kind words.
It’s a process truly, not sure if you saw the movie Evan Almighty, there’s a line of God in the movie where he asks a person: Do you think if someone wants to be courageous I just make them feel that way, or give them the strength to experience what that truly is. It made me think.
Yeah, I wouldn’t go to bars and try to have meaningful conversations. I’m not saying it’s impossible but I don’t think I’d feel too comfortable in the smell of cigarettes and drinks, and nasty people swearing cuss words.
One friend of mine used to work at a gambling and sports location in my young years, and to this day I wouldn’t try to talk or engage with those people. They were too rude and loud and reeked like booze.
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That is a very interesting comment. If God created everything, did he also create courage? If not, then who created all these ideas and feelings?
I wouldn’t suggest anyone do what I do. I will say the bars I go to don’t have any smoke. Most bars and restaurants are smoke free here. You mostly just sit around and talk, similar to that old TV show Cheers. There is music playing, but usually not too loud. There also isn’t any gambling. I don’t think it’s even legal in this state, except for maybe lottery tickets. I would have to drive a long way to find a casino. Maybe one day I will find a better venue to meet new people and talk.
I always enjoy your long comments, Katherine! Keep them coming!
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Good question! God is at the base of everything, Ken. The way we channel our emotions and proceed in life is merely based on choice.
I’m not the one to judge, of course, I just told you what I won’t do. The bars in your area sound pretty nice. But I strongly recommend you find a better venue as well.
Hey, tip, I’m at the dentist currently. Go run your errands and place yourself first, who knows who you’ll meet 😉.
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