Tag: anonymity

Coping strategies

Today’s question is what strategies do I use to cope with negative feelings? This is definitely an area where I need to improve. I have been dealing with about seven years’ worth of negative feelings, so I should be good at it by now, but I don’t think I have any strategy that works perfectly.

Before I get started on my list, I want to relate something I do that helps me get the motivation to get out of bed. On the days I can’t sleep the day away, I will hit the snooze on the alarm and just lay there thinking. I have this memory of my late grandmother stroking my hair on the days I was ill and feverish and telling me it would be okay. Even though I felt sick enough to die, it somehow made me feel like living. I found that memory also works on days when I am just sick of life. I will lay there in bed and imagine my grandmother stroking my hair and telling me the day will be fine. That memory is really the last time I felt true affection from another person. It was pure and unconditional love. Somewhere along the way, affection became tainted by people using it to get what they want. Pure unadulterated affection is probably the most powerful medicine in the world. Unfortunately, I can only find it in my distant memories now, but it still melts away all the suffering. Thank you, grandma, for healing me through endless ages with your love.

  1. Prayer. I pray to God a lot. It’s not like a traditional prayer, but like a very long conversation, sometimes spanning hours. There has never been a time when I thought I lost God’s attention though. He’s pretty much the only person who listens to me. I am reminded of David’s very famous line, “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.” (Psalm 139:8). It really is true. He is always with his children, wherever they may find themselves.
  2. Games. I sometimes play video games. I’m not super into it like some people. I think this stems from the fact that I am not at all competitive. I mainly use games as a distraction. There is one thing about them that drags me into them. I sort of connect with the hero archetype that is personified in many games. If the right cause awakens me, I will slay all your dragons. Basically, I have a hero complex, otherwise known as a savior complex. If my people need me, I will rescue them.
  3. Conversation. If I meet the right person while I am out, we will have a wonderful time together, just talking the night away. I love conversing with those people. Sometimes I get to hear their whole life story, and I love true stories! Sometimes they are unloading emotional problems, and I’m totally there to hear them out. There’s also a surprising amount of intellectual, philosophical, and political discussions that happen at bars. I’m a great listener, and it’s definitely a good distraction.
  4. Dreams. Occasionally I have bad dreams, but for the most part my dreams are tolerable, sometimes even pleasant. In my dreams, I am not myself. I am free to be whoever I want. It is so liberating! I sometimes wish I could just change my name, move far away, and start over, meeting all new people. Dreams are the closest I come to that wish.
  5. Reading. I read a lot of books. My record for a year is over one hundred books. That used to be the goal I set each year. I don’t read as much as that anymore, but it has always been a part of my life. A good book is one of the only things that can sufficiently distract me from my troubles. I also listen to audiobooks when I go on walks or drive long distance.
  6. Writing. As you know, I write blog posts quite often. It helps me to get things out in the open. I am probably too open with strangers, but they are mostly supportive in the blogging community. There is some degree of protection from the anonymity of it all I suppose. To me, blogging is very therapeutic. I also dream of being a novelist one day, if I can ever straighten my emotions out enough stay on it.
  7. Women. I’m not going to lie, a lot of the negativity that encroaches on my happiness is from the heartbreak women have caused me. That being said, those same women filled my life with incredible happiness when they were with me. That’s why losing them hurt me so badly. I don’t think women realize how much power they have to heal. I know if the right girl came along, she would easily be able to wipe away all the hurt of those who left me in shambles. It’s almost too much power for any person to wield. I suppose there are women who feel the same way about men.
  8. Thunder. I don’t know why, but rolling thunder and rain help me to relax. I have an app that just plays the sound of thunder and rain. I use it to fall asleep some nights. It also seems to reduce the chances of me waking up over in the night. I suppose it is the remnant of childhood memories where the rain on our tin roof helped me sleep, or maybe thunder just scares off negative forces. Either way, the thunderstorm is one of my dearest friends.

Are there any memories from your childhood that get you through the day? What is your view of affection on mental health? Did you have a good relationship with your parents and grandparents? Do you have any good coping strategies you would add? What’s the biggest source of negativity in your life? Do you have a savior complex?

Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!

Also, thanks for being here! Love you all!

I found an uninteresting news story on MSN.

I found an news post on MSN that didn’t seem interesting to me. It was called 11 Legal Things That Are Expected To Be Banned in the Next 20 Years – Are You Ready? I clicked on the link and it took me to a slideshow list, which I don’t really like. Maybe it gives them the chance to keep me on the page long enough to throw one more ad at me, but I’m a fast reader. Just give me the whole list.

Let’s go through the list and see how it affects me. Maybe I might be losing some freedom I currently have. I mean, that’s what making something illegal does. It diminishes someone’s freedom. In some cases, as in criminal acts, that makes sense, but you can make way too many laws, and that ship sailed a long time ago.

  1. Telemarketing. No reason to make it illegal. Just set you phone to not accept phone calls from anyone not in your contacts. Everyone else can leave a voice message, and you can get back to them if you like. My phone even says telemarker when I get the call. It’s just not worth the effort to make this illegal and it’s vague sometimes. Of course, lawyers will love making this illegal, because they will get more work, another good reason to not make things illegal. In short, don’t feel even the slightest bit obligated to answer a phone call from a questionable source.
  2. Multi-level marketing. I have no idea what this is really. Someone is peeved by it though, so let’s make it illegal. Seems like some sort of money making scheme, so savvy people will just avoid it. Also seems vaguely defined, as they are saying some charities are MLM. This leads to more legal and court costs to determine if it qualifies. If it sounds too good to be true, dig a little deeper, and make sound decisions.
  3. Microtransactions. Basically, kids shouldn’t spend their parents money in game apps. Seems legit. Why not ban that for adults too. I hate downloading an app to find that it doesn’t work as expected without additional costs.
  4. Beauty contests. This doesn’t affect me at all, so I have very little to offer. I do know a girl who grew up in pageants and it seemed to have little affect on her. If anything, it was a fun memory. I guess it depends on how seriously you take it. My view of this is it has a lot to do with the parents. I guess it shows they have good genes. The dumb thing to me is that we believe beauty is not supposed to be a valuable trait, but it is a very valuable trait. I wish I had more of it. Honestly, I think these are harmless and make the parents and kids happy, under most circumstances. Making them illegal is an extreme measure.
  5. Data privacy. I think rather than making it illegal there should be a disclamier that pops up every time you connect your computer to the Internet. It should say, anything you do on the Internet is being tracked by someone. I really don’t care too much about what advertisers do honestly. The ad systems are really just trying to get the right product to the right people. Big brother is really the only privacy violator we should be concerned about.
  6. Single-Use Plastic. If there is a demand for a product, it will continue to be used. People don’t have time to wash every single item they use and reuse it. People dream of going back to milk bottle refilling days. Good luck. Our world moves way to fast to support that method. Here’s a solution, make all plastic biodegradable.
  7. Subscription Services. This is definitely a problem, but it makes too much money to stop. When someone is getting rich off of something, they will lobby congress if they have to. The problem with making everything a subscription is that you never actually own anything. It’s a bad model for personal property, but fine for actual services.
  8. Skipping ads. I do it on YouTube. I didn’t go there to see that content. I’m almost never interested in the particular product they are selling either. Maybe they aren’t tracking my preferences well enough? It’s more likely that it should be illegal to force someone to watch something they don’t want to watch. I just pictured a future where people are chained to a chair with some mechanical device that doesn’t let them turn their head away from the video and wiry things forcing their eyelids open. Is this where we are heading? Honestly truth, if someone clicks skip, they were presented with an ad that wasn’t going to make a sale anyway. They are not interested in that product. Consider the skip to be good feedback on which ads are a total failure.
  9. Fireworks. They are exciting and beautiful and I like them. Some of the best things in life are a little dangerous. Let’s not be fraidy cats about everything.
  10. Selling cigarettes. Doesn’t affect me too much, but I watched my dad die from them. I honestly hate the way they smell, except for maybe cigars or pipes. I think smoking is bad for your health, and really not a cool thing to do, but I also think adults should be able to make up their own minds about what the take into their bodies. It’s another one of those nanny state things, and I don’t support a nanny state.
  11. Online Tracking. Like I said earlier, use of the Internet should come with a disclaimer. Someone is logging what you do for their own protection, and to connect you with the things you are searching for, or wanting to buy. I do support the idea of anonymity. It’s just very hard to manage this on the public internet, but there are ways that don’t involve the legal system.

What are your thoughts on this article? Do any of these things peeve you enough to make them illegal? Do you think we have too many or too few laws? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe!

You can’t like what you like.

My mouse hovers over the like button on the post and I press it, but then, I remember that time I was scrolling through my feed and I came across a post that said one of my friends liked this or that site. So, I hesitate. If I push like on this will my friends know I like it? Could that be embarrassing? Will they change their opinion about me? Do I really like it that much? Is this what I want to be know for? The guy who likes these kind of posts? I change my mind and quickly push unlike, hoping it didn’t register in their system long enough to associate me with it.

It then occurs to me, honesty really requires anonymity, unless you just don’t care what anyone thinks. This is really what made the internet so special. It was really a place where you didn’t have to worry too much about it. You figured no one was watching. Now you know the whole world is tracking that little mouse button of yours.

Ever find yourself doing this? What are your thoughts? Don’t forget to hit subscribe, more to come.

It wasn’t for me.

I remember there used to be a time when there wasn’t an internet, but I honestly don’t like to think about it. It was a time when everyone was expected to do everything in person or through paper. It was a time when people couldn’t work from home very easily. It was an era that predates blogging and many forms of self-publication. It was really not for me. I was born for the internet, and I spend a ridiculous amount of time there.

Some people like to blame the internet for everything, and there are some negative aspects, but if you really think about it, it has made the world a better place. Here are some things it has added.

  • Better connection to other people. Before the internet, it really wasn’t that easy to keep up with people you went to school with, or family that moved out of state. I remember my grandmother actually had to write to her cousins on paper and use snail mail. That definitely wasn’t optimal, though it did build anticipation and teach patience.
  • The internet allows for anonymity. Some people see this as an evil aspect of the internet, but I think it is absolutely critical. Societies and governments tend to silence and chastise people who criticize them out of fear that if enough people gather together, they will overthrow them. Without anonymity, those people would not be able to state the truth about their society or government.
  • It is more inclusive. The internet is pretty much everywhere now. Before it, you had to really work hard to connect with people outside your local community or state. The world has become much smaller and striking up a conversation with someone across the globe is trivial now.
  • The information age opened up tons of jobs that allow you to work from home, or anywhere there is an internet connection. You can literally work from the beach if you like. You can travel the world if you like, taking your work with you. You also don’t have to worry about that dreaded commute anymore. The only highway you have to be on is the information superhighway.
  • It provided an outlet for tons of creative minds. There are so many creators out there now. It’s almost becoming an expectation in our society. Without the ability to self-publish, you would have to get everything approved by a bureaucratic publishing system and advertising was pretty slow and expensive. Now, you just create an account on social media and start sharing.
  • Of course, the best part of having the internet is that you get to read this amazing blog. 🙂

So, what’s your favorite thing about the internet? Could you live without it? Tell me about it in the comments, and don’t forget to like and subscribe.