Today, I am asked to describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to. I believe it started sometime in 2018 and lasted until late 2023. I think of this phase as the period of hope. My life was in pretty bad shape when the period began, but someone came along who gave me hope that things would improve somehow. I just couldn’t figure out how to make the right changes happen without messing a lot of things up for everyone, so I just stalled. I relied entirely on hope, but at least I had that to keep me going.
Sometime in 2023, around the time I paused on my blogging, a couple of events occurred that caused me to lose all the hope I had of a miracle happening. It seemed to have been preceded by a reading of cards, indicating that a new beginning was coming. It was also around the time the person who started this period briefly came back into my life to announce her marriage was a total failure and she had filed for divorce. I think things will keep going and I will be okay, but I don’t have much hope things will correct themselves at this point.
Now, I have the period of drinking and bar patronizing to look forward to. What joy. At least my ability to write convincing characters with severe alcohol problems is maturing rapidly. I also have the bar scene down pat, if I need to incorporate that into a book. I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve heard of writers doing a bit of wine bibbing. Steven King devoted some lines to his experience with it in his book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. At least I haven’t taken up smoking yet. I’m mostly just kidding about this (maybe).
It’s not all bad. The period of hope actual made me stressed enough to quit my job and take on a new one. It pretty much doubled my salary. The struggle to pay the rent kind of flew out the window after that, along with all my other money problems. Being able to live large did open up other doorways though, hence the bar hopping. It’s still lonely, but that’s kind of my fault. I can be lonely in a crowded room full of people, if it’s not the right people.
I’m not new to the phases of life, having endured quite a few by now. They all seem like mini lifetimes in themselves, barely having any relation to previous periods, each one with its own distinct personality and habits. I’m just now being introduced to this new one’s personality. Maybe he and I will become great friends by the end. You don’t know until it’s over, whether they will also be difficult to say goodbye to, or you welcome their exit off center stage with a swift kick. I guess we’ll see, but the most concerning thing to me is who I will be when they leave.
What phase did you hate to leave behind? Do phases of life seem to have a distinct personality? Ever have to give up hope on something you wanted badly? Do you struggle with loneliness? How would you describe the current phase of your life? Let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to like and subscribe!
Ken's Life 