Tag: free thinker

The people in my dreams.

I admit I don’t remember my dreams as often as I did when I was growing up. Maybe if I thought about it before I went to sleep, or wrote my dreams down when I woke up, then I would begin to remember them better. I do like them in general, the good ones anyway. It just seems like there’s so much going on that my dreams seem unimportant, but maybe there’s something to learn from them.

I remember having all kinds of dreams growing up, good dreams I didn’t want to wake up from, and nightmares where I was happy to have a place to wake up to, because I wouldn’t want to be stuck in one of those forever. I must admit that did scare me some as a kid. What if I couldn’t make myself wake up? I think that would be a kind of hell.

I also remember interacting with lots of characters in my dreams. Occasionally it would be someone I know from the waking world, though they were often not exactly like I knew them in person, but I knew it was them somehow. I often wondered about this. Was I also in their dream that night? Did we dream the same dream?

I think the most interesting characters in my dreams though, were the ones I didn’t know at all. Where did they come from? Maybe they were just a product of my imagination, but they seemed to say and do things that made sense, and I didn’t tell them how to behave. Do they think like people? I also used to imagine that they were real people too, just living somewhere else, in a place I’ve never been.

One of the oddest things though, is that sometimes these people in my dreams came back on other nights, but in different dreams. They seemed to have permanence of some kind from night to night. Maybe not the next night, but sooner or later they would reappear. They were like dream companions or something. I remember I even liked a few of them, and thought it was too bad they were not in the real world.

What does my recollection of the old dreams I had as a kid matter now? I was just thinking about how real-world relationships differ from those in the dream world. These friends in my dreams would come and go, but I never feared they would disappear forever. I knew they were always around somewhere, and when the right time came around, we would again have a dream adventure together.

In the real world, relationships don’t quite behave this way. They are kind of sticky. You may try to keep some person in your life longer than they should be, or longer than they want to be. They might also try to hold on to you for longer than they should. Because of this stickiness, some disconnects can cause anger and hurt feelings, leading to permanent separation. A relationship with one person can also get in the way of a relationships with another. You might even find yourself wanting to be alone just to avoid these relationship problems.

From this comparison, I was pondering the idea that maybe there is something to learn from dream relationships. What if we were able to move freely through life letting connections with people come and go, and come again, as circumstances unfold, without trying to control everything and everyone. Maybe dream relationships are how we are supposed to be in real life, but the circumstances of this reality blind us to the perfection that is within our soul and demonstrated in the dream reality.

Just a thought to ponder. Enjoy!

Possible discussion ideas.

  1. Do you think dreams are important? If so, why?
  2. Do people in your real life appear often in your dreams?
  3. Have you met people in your dreams that you don’t know?
  4. Do you have recurring dreams, or recurring people in your dreams?
  5. Do places you have seen only in your dreams recur?
  6. What are your thoughts on relationship stickiness?
  7. Do you think dream relationships are pleasant?
  8. Who would you most like to meet in your dreams?

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What will I leave behind?

I’ve thought about this for years, and have probably had lots of different opinions on it along the way.

I think I used to believe that being remembered by your community was very important. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone. From time to time, the little church houses would fill with people attending funerals to pay their last respects. I remember older people saying things like, it was a good turnout at so-and-so’s funeral, he was liked by all. Back then, it seemed like that was the best you could accomplish, being loved by family and friends enough that they would show up to bid you farewell to worlds unknown, say nice things about you, shed a few tears, and then move on with the rest of their lives, patiently awaiting their own time to come.

I also thought about more grander things from time to time, like I would do something amazing that would change the world. Maybe I would become famous, or invent something, or become an author and write books. This was a pleasant thought, because it would mean that I affected the lives of way more than just those who crossed my path physically, and I might even be immortalized through publications or history, and go on to be known and remember by people in far distant generations. This would probably be the best legacy I could hope for, but much more difficult to attain.

So really, the legacy you leave to future generations, is just a memory of the person you were in life, what they saw in you, how you made them feel inside, the ideas you gave them, and the experiences you shared together, real or imagined. Considering that, I hope they remember me as a person who sought to understand, a person who wanted to experience deeper things and stronger emotions, a person who wanted to challenge barriers to life satisfaction and happiness and rethink outdated traditions, and a person who accepted others as they truly are on the inside.

Agree or disagree? What’s your legacy?