The thing I value is their why.

A few weeks ago, I was in an in-person leadership training course paid for by my organization and the instructor kept mentioning a book in the class. It was a book written by Simon Sinek called Start with Why. The book peaked my interest, so I bought a copy. He also has a blog (https://simonsinek.com). The book itself is geared more toward how companies form their image, and a critical part of their image is their why.

After that day, I began to think about why in terms of people. When we meet someone knew, it’s pretty much a blank slate, other than maybe what comes across visually or through body language, but one of the things I think we do though, as we get to know them, is we start to try and figure out their why. Why do they do the things they do? Why do they say things like that? Why do they like or dislike me? What’s their agenda? That is to say, what’s their why?

When you learn someone’s why, you will either resist their every move or drop everything and take up their banner.

When I know them well enough, a pattern will emerge. I will know their why. I will begin to anticipate what they are going to say or do next. I have come to know how they will react to different situations. I will begin to guess what they really want from me, what they are not openly saying. I will start seeing hidden agendas. I’m not always correct, as no one can predict the future, but it still influences me enough to adjust what I say or do around them. Very often, when you learn someone’s why, you will either resist their every move or drop everything and take up their banner.

Not everyone has a good why. You will find people who are not at all altruistic. Most of the things they say or do has some hidden benefit to them, either physically or egotistically. They can’t get past this. They are just very self centered and manipulative by nature. Other people are just there for them to use, but the challenge for them is how to get what they want without being discovered.

That being said, some people are just genuine people. The more you are around them, the more you see that their why is actually good, or at least benign. To me, these people make great friends. You can usually trust them, and they don’t really have any hidden motives that would cause you any issues. If they like you, it’s really because they like you, and not because they want something from you. You can’t help but like these people honestly.

Do you find yourself trying to figure out a person’s why? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to hit subscribe.

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Ken

I see myself as a free thinker, life explorer, and wisdom collector. Some of my favorite subjects are psychology, philosophy, relationships, society, reading, writing, technology, and lifestyle. My goal in life is to connect with people, make the world a little better, and improve the lives of those I meet along the way.

14 thoughts on “The thing I value is their why.”

  1. I don’t tend to ask myself these questions with people, but maybe that’s a good way to assess someone who’s in your life. I tend to like people because I like them and for me it’s that they’re nice to be with and don’t make me feel drained. I spend a lot of time alone so when I do find someone I like to spend time with, it means I really do like them.

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  2. Well, my own opinion is I assess people based on their own human pattern because, you’ll agree with me that every human are unique in a different way. Therefore, it’s like getting to know or having a new book ; what I’m trying to say is this, let’s respect every person the way they are and not try to instead force our psychology on them for they have been engineered through their minds by lots of events and life experiences too

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